Technology and youth ministry

I may not have been in professional youth ministry career, but as a youth ministry intern there are certain things that I notice about youth ministry. All throughout interning I have seen the countless benefits of technology, but I have also sen the disadvantages; it is these disadvantages that I would like to briefly talk about today.

I have observed that our technology can and does at times fail us. There are times where a Video won't play in our lesson, the sound system acts up, or a website malfunctions temporarily. These are only small tech failures that I have witnessed and I can imagine that there are many more. This creates problems for both us, the youth ministers, and for our students/possible job applicants in certain situations.

First to cover when it is a problem for us: it can hinder the effectiveness of our lesson or put a damper to the evening. What I have seen ministers do to prevent disaster from such failures and what I would recommend is: to always plan a back up plan and trust God to use you with the failures to bring about change. Also another suggestion is making sure everything works an hour or so before needed if it is possible.

Now to the effect that it has on our students and job applicants. For our students it can create awkward moments where they wait for you to figure our what you are going to do. It is vital to remember that the students have as little or as much say in the program as we give them; so if we have given them little place it can create this awkward time of waiting and confusion. However if we include them a lot in the program, the students can help create filler time while you as the youth minister figures out what you can do to fix things. Now, however, we come to the job applicant. There are times--that have happened to me-- where someone may be applying for a position in your youth ministry or organization and your website has an error resulting in their application not being processed. Of course a simple email can alert you, the youth director, of this error so that it can be fixed; but there are times where you will not be available to fix the error be because even youth ministers need vacations. My advice for these times would be have alternative ways to submit applications instead of just submitting it online and/or allowing he application to be emailed.

That is my two cents, my thoughts from the dust as a lowly youth intern/

Sometimes you can do the same thing right a thousand times...

Sometimes you can do the same thing over and over again right, but one day you mess up. Today, as former Youth Intern, I was given the privilege to run and teach Sunday school again. I had been in charge a few times before and in the past everything always went according to plan; today I even felt incredibly confident and more like a Youth Pastor...But it was today that I realized as the famous show How I Met Your Mother points out sometimes you can do something right a thousand times...but that thousand and one times you mess up.

It began with awaking to realize that I had forgotten to go out and buy donuts and when I looked outside the car was strategically parked behind two other vehicles with the tiniest amount of room to pull out. After careful maneuverability, I managed to get to the grocery store but that was not the end of my troubles; when I checking out, I mistakenly typed that I wanted to buy 71 dozen donuts. That would have been crazy, but of course I worked my way out of that mistake easily enough. 

Then once everything was set up, it seemed to be going a lot better. I felt more than confident as I sat on the stool with my cup of coffee in hand, leading the discussion in Sunday school. I felt overly accomplished for getting many of the students to respond, because so often in the mornings no one wants to talk. Things seemed to be going great, and then I ended.

Twenty minutes early.

I had prepared all these discussion questions and scripture, and yet I finished early. At first I counted it as a loss. All I could think was "I've always done so well, what is wrong with me today?" Then I realized how beneficial this morning was for me.

Sometimes, ending early can help create an atmosphere of community that is needed. Sometimes ending early can help the students relax their minds after such a long week with their schooling and jobs. If anything it can show me how to be more prepared for the next time. I realized that I should not look down on this experience, but that I can learn from it. Being intern and having these experiences I have realized that you can learn from everything you do.

Experiences are half the learning in ministry. These thoughts from the dust are from my experience of today.

Journeying in the College Years

You know what they say about your college years; that they form you and liberate you from your sheltered life? Well I would have to say that this year has seemed to encompass that more than the first year. My freshmen year of college focused mostly on me trying to find where I fit here and how much I can get involved. This year, however, things are quite different.

I am already involved in different groups and I have many friends and yet I continue to develop new friendships. I am being introduced to new ideas, concepts, music genres, and so on. There are days that I am realizing how sheltered that I was growing up and other days that I realize how well off I had it. Then there are days where I spend the entire day in the library.

That day is today. I have been writing papers all day in the library because my classes were cancelled. It is an interesting feeling to get your papers finished with so many hours left in your evening, especially as you see all the other students frantically trying to finish theirs. It brings me a feeling of relief but also a feeling worry. I worry that I am finished early because I did not add enough or that it is inadequate and it is times like this that I need to just let my thoughts out and follow the words of Christ that says not to worry.

My always moving mind now directs my thoughts to yesterday. There are times in our life where we are a part of something but do not truly feel a sense of belonging there until one day when there is a click. That happened with my church yesterday. When I walked into church I felt a mental click that it was the place that I belonged at for right now and that I could be myself there. I even found my behavior to reflect this new found click and it was marvelous.

So I type all of this to show that in the end of my 3rd semester at the university, I am feeling like a college student. I am defining how I am and who I am going to be. I am becoming unsheltered and finding areas where I must be sheltered. I am enjoying the simple things in life and finishing papers at my own pace. I am following God as I journey day by day on this campus.

I am on a journey figuring out who I am through Christ.

What will tomorrow hold?

Sureness and Unknowing.

Tonight is a night of feeling "sureness." There is a beauty to this feeling that travels alongside feelings of being terrified. There is sureness and unknowing and there is avoidance and not ready in life and often times the unknowing can seem more safe. There is a time for everything as Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes, and tonight is a time for sureness in the good and the bad. Just as it is a sure fact that Kate Austin was meant to be with Jack Shepherd or that Jin and Sun would always find each other, the way I feel tonight is a feeling of sureness.
It can be terrifying because it involves thinking about the future in a brand new way, but I welcome this terrifying feeling because ultimately my feelings are stronger than the fear. Embrace the sureness. Embrace the unknowing. Let life take you where it leads, because God is with you; in the sureness and unknowing. I may have never felt so sure, but I can say that she is worth it; she is worth seeing what the future holds in store. We Will Always Find Each Other.

Thoughts on Consumerism and Community

Last year I blogged about my reflections on consumerism from Black Friday and today I am revisiting how I am a victim of it yet again. I have been getting significantly better at saying “no” to things, but I still fall prey to buying movies and books that are on incredible sales. I even spent a lot of money on BD’s Christmas gift and as worth it as I feel she is, I cannot help but feel guilty when I spend money like that. There is a part of me that is yearning to help the poor and every ounce of money that goes towards consumerism is money that goes against the poor. That is at the very least a thought that I get. I hate it honestly. I hate this money system we have because you need so much of it and yet the more you need of it the more you want and the more you want the more you fall prey to consumerism. Ha, those were just my early afternoon thoughts. I did however get a rather captivating book that I have barely been able to put down and it is entitled “Cross Roads” and it is written by the author of one of my favorite books entitled “The Shack.” This story tells the tale of a man who has isolated himself to complete aloneness and is now dying; it talks in depth about how much God loves us and how God is community and why we are made for community. It has only reinstated my love for community and helped fill this theme of my break. It seems with the amounts of “Community” that I have been watching and my reflections on community I would say that is my theme of this break. What a wonderful theme that is, one of my favorites in fact. Even last year when I co-led a student bible study it was common knowledge that when it was my turn to lead I would usually resort to one of two topics: community or social justice.

            In my reflective state of community I noticed something tonight. It began when I wished my uncle a goodnight by saying that I loved him and all he responded with was “goodnight.” It made me think about how I have barely heard some married friends say “I love you” to their wives. I know that they desperately love their wives, but I have not heard them say it. It makes me wonder what we have done with the word love. The way I see it, and the way that BD sees it is that you should always love and you should say “I love you” to those that you love at the end of every conversation in case you never see them again by some strange happenstance. I know that people may argue that the word loses its meaning when it is overused, but I would argue that it loses its meaning when it is underused. We all have different understandings of love, and we are in different stages, but that should not stop us from loving like none other. We should love, the love we know, with all that we are. We are creatures made for community and made for love, so why is it so hard to show that? I know that it is easy for me to show love, but sometimes harder for me to see love. We need to get out of this dichotomy of what we feel and show and it should be both. We should be filled with love and share that love too. Love is what makes the world go around. Love is what awakens us. Love is what gives us meaning. Love is.

            So as I have come to the end of my contemplative night, I have read the next chapter of Daniel; chapter 3. This chapter tells us the narrative of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego that I have so often heard as a child. In some ways it frustrates me the way that these stories are presented to children because it creates this clean, easy, world of the Scriptures where in actuality this tale is a gruesome and violent tale. These men have enough trust in God that even if He does not spare them they are willing to die to be loyal to him. In a sense they could be saying “Even if we are wrong in this belief, we believe in this God so adamantly we will die for Him.” And so they do…they get thrown into a Furness something that I know many American Evangelicals would be last to jump on the bandwagon for. I do not understand how we, as Americans, have been able to get this prosperity gospel into our brains that we won’t go through hard times. I mean if you look anywhere in the Bible you see Christians being persecuted left and right. Yeah God was with them, but that did not stop the issue. I love how in this narrative when they are in the Furness, God appears with them. He does not take them out of the fires; he walks in the midst of their troubles with them. I know that they did not burn up, so that was God protecting them but they also didn’t walk out until the king ordered them out. This shows us that in the midst of our trials and troubles God is walking with us, protecting us, even if we aren’t liberated right away. It can be easy to think that God is going to liberate us immediately from our problems, but that’s not the case. The important thing to remember is that he is with us, always. There is one thing I would like to remark about the end of this chapter, when the king makes it a law to worship God. I think that it is good that he has found God, but hasn’t he just made God the same as the other God he had created? Was it really a wise decision to make serving God a decree? That makes it more legalistic if you ask me, and God desires a relationship, it’s why he is community.

            So, Lord help me to be a steward for raising communities. Help me to sow love in this broken and dying world. Help me to bring peace and reconciliation and to reunite people into community. Lord I am yours, please us me in all that you did. I love you above all else. I am yours.

The wrestling of a Call

Since the beginning of my sophomore year I have been wrestling with my call into ministry. It all started one morning in chapel when I was half-awake. I felt a desire to think about urban ministry and spent that weekend in crisis trying to figure out if I should switch to that due to my passions for social justice. However, by the end of the weekend I was back to being okay with just having ICS as a second, undeclared, minor. This thought, however, has not completely left my mind; I mean I have neglected the idea of changing from Youth and I am for sure not doing urban...but that does not mean my wrestling has ended.

I have not felt content with having this undeclared minor of ICS. I was not honestly sure if it was because it was undeclared so did not involve too much commitment or what; then I heard a man in my Greek talk about how he was doubling in Pastoral and Theological studies major and I immediately thought that it would be beneficial and cool to double with Theological study, but like I have been doing a lot recent, I brushed off the thought. As the weeks have progressed, I have been being very reflective and thinking a lot about philosophy, theology, and how it is my pet peeve when people discredit youth ministers and think that they do not know much theology.

Then this past weekend, my father emailed me explaining why I should change to Pastoral ministry. I immediately knew that I was not changing to that--for I had decided that a long time ago--but I did take this as an excuse to evaluate what would be the best combination with Youth Ministry that goes with my calling and my passions. Then tonight, while my lovely girlfriend is away in Dallas, I have had the free time to spend time contemplating and looking into the course requirements of different majors.

I came to realize that the major of Theological Studies has most of the same religion courses as Youth ministry, but also has a couple pastoral and philosophy classes that would be very beneficial to my calling. I began comparing that to Pastoral and ICS and Religion support and realized that there weren't many ICS classes that I was dying to take and that the theology major has the classes that I need for ordination. It was then, sitting here at my desk listening to Indy music, that I realized Youth Ministry and Theological Studies--if it is permissible--would be a great combination and I would be able to drop my minors and just if I ever have space take the occasional ICS class. With this mentality I realized that I would be able to take any extra ICS classes that I felt I missed out when I go for my masters one day.

So, I have sent out emails to speak to certain people to see if this is truly the route that I should approach. It would make sense, because I love reading theology and when it comes to social justice that is something that I can do no matter my major. I have been realizing recently that as people we like to categorize things and say that you have to be in a certain major to like something...but really if I am passionate about social justice, I can bring about change within the ministry setting I am at. Why should I have to go and leave where I am called to do social justice? I should do it in my calling because ONE: that is where God wants me and TWO:  If I don't focus on justice where I am at, who will?

This reflective night makes me think of drinking coffee, reading scripture, studying theology. Three of my favorite things. One of the best parts of this is my girlfriend is a youth ministry major as well. In my previous post I talked about pursuing this girl, well I have and we are now in a relationship and I have the intentions to one day marry this girl. I feel great about her and I feel more than ever that I want this one to work out. She does not fall under any of the previous patterns and she is amazing in every way. We have so much in common. I, above all, in this relationship am excited about partnering alongside her to do ministry.

Well, that is about all I have for tonight. I was considering writing this in my physical journal tonight, but decided I was more in the mood for typing. So this time this handy dandy blog gets to hear my thoughts from the dust.

The Pursuit

"O my darling, lingering in the gardens,

    your companions are fortunate to hear your voice.

    Let me hear it, too!" -Song Of Solomon 18:13

The Song of Solomon the one book in the Bible that so often gets overlooked. Is it a poem written between two lovers? Is it a poem representing God's love for us, his bride? Can it be both? Even more though, when I read this book I think of an ideal marriage.

How does one get to an ideal marriage? This is an interesting question that a single person is asking. I do not know the answer nor will I pretend to. But I know that I can strive for an answer...and strive to find someone to pursue and devote my love to. I know that there are several women out there that God wants me to find and choose one to pursue.  

I have dated a lot in high school and even talked with a lot of girls in college. I have noticed that most of the girls I have dated, have fallen under one pattern; and I am striving to get out of that pattern. I often feel like Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother. Constantly searching for who I am going to end up with one day; I am one who believes you need to date to figure out what you look for in a spouse. I think of the HIMYM Season 8 premiere when sub-character Klaus says you have to find the one whose meant for you, if you have to think about it you haven't found her yet. That relates to me because I have been trying to find someone who doesn't fall in the same pattern. 

I have met many girls this semester who have not fallen under that pattern and there is one particular one that I would like to pursue. She knows that I like her,  but that is about as far as we've talked about it. There is something different about her than the other girls. She is incredibly like me and is even a grade above me. There is something in me that feels things could last with her because I have never had to really pursue a woman. This is why I quoted Song of Solomon to begin with. 

The author knows that the woman's friends get to know her well, and that he wanted to know her as well. To me it is an act of pursuing the woman he loves; he wants her to share in his love. I know in relationships you have to lead up to love someone, and I want to start pursuing this woman to see if we will develop this love. 

Lord guide me. Use me. Give me strength and direction. I am yours.

I love you Lord, You have my heart.

A Cry for Unity

"I understand that politics is important in our society and that we as citizens have the responsibility of who we elect as our president. However it kills me to see how politics is creating so much tension among believers within the Church. We need to hold to our number one priority of being a united body through love under the reign of Christ!" -Small Group Member

This quote which was stated by a member in the small group I lead has surprisingly ticked a few people off. The very idea of us being a united body of love pissing someone off makes me want to lose hope.  I do not understand why someone would get all uptight over this statement.

So naturally I asked them to elaborate...bad idea.

I do not share my political opinions because I want to go into ministry and I believe that Church and state are meant to be separated; but I never thought that I would be criticized for that. I never thought I would be told to "find another religion" if I didn't stand firm on my political opinions. How messed up is that?

Christianity is about a relationship with Christ, our Savior, striving to live more and more like Him. My political views should not in anyway effect my relationship with Christ.

When Christians react the way one did tonight, it makes me want to lose hope in the church.

I know that would be a stupid over generalization, but it's so frustrating; especially when they use words like "retarded" to replace the word "stupid." That has to be one of my biggest pet peeves and I cannot see how using that word is loving in anyway. 

Lord I am crying to you for peace, for unity, for reconciliation. Lord, hear my cry. I'm yours.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

Subliminal Messages

Today has been a peculiar day; nothing significant has happened, but I have realized things that frustrate me and put me in a weird mood. Not only that, but all I have been able to think about is if ICS will be my 2nd minor or 2nd major. Then I find out that RS has been leaving subliminal messages to our room... particularly KC and I.  I mostly want to talk about these messages because they are what put me in this weird "wack" in fact they make me no longer want to do my homework that I was going to work ahead on.

I began to notice this a few days ago when he put up a sign that said "Maturity...some people have it and others desperately need to find it" and had a post it note laying out that said "Are you going to teach your future youth group or church that?" I tried not to think much about that. Then we were both doing devotions and he pointed out that he loved the verse 1 Corinthians 13:11 which says "When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things" which I did not think much of because the verse is talking about "Spiritual Maturity" a topic of which I did not think we were talking about. Then tonight the final "Message" was left and it all adds up now. He wrote on KC's whiteboard "I would write something inappropriate here...but then I remembered I am an adult." 

Wow, so this whole time he has been trying to leave us clues that tell us he doesn't like our jokes while in a way portraying a "Holier than thou" mentality. This frustrates me to no end. I get the whole not wanting to be a jerk about it, but honestly doing this "passive-aggressive" attack is more of a jerk move. I don't even know what to say; there are some aspects of him that have massively changed over the summer and I wonder if they are because of AD.

What gets me even more was that I was starting to warm up to AD again. I've loved her Philosophy answers in class and I have started to realize how she can be a great friend...which helps because I have been praying that God will help me love her as He does all summer...and then this happens.

I do not even know what to think. God, Lord...Jesus I need your help. This is just so...frustrating. I get that I am pretty passive-aggressive a lot of the time, but it really sucks when you live with someone who is though; because I don't want to confront him about it, and yet I feel like I should so I know if those jokes, messages, etc bug him. 

I know this new "better, more adult like, than you" is something that I am not a huge fan of, it may be the RS that we get now...so instead of annoying him more I should try to accommodate him, right? Or is that my people pleasing nature to want to do that? God I need your help...show me your way. I am all about reconciliation but I did not think that I did anything to RS. What is wrong? What can I do, Lord? 

This evening--having my immediate homework done-- just makes me feel all contemplative and frustrated. I want to talk to someone about this...besides God, but I don't feel like there are many people that  I can. I know that I can always talk to God about this, and I do...but He did create us for community as Genesis 2:18a says "Man is not meant to be alone..." and I need...or just want a person to talk to this about. 

This is my prayer tonight.

Lord...Father...Daddy...Abba.
I need you. I am broken. I am mad.
Things are not how I thought they would be.
People are changing and that is the kind of change I don't like.
What do i do?
I need your guidance.
I need you Jesus.

Amen.

Thoughts on the "Machine Gun Preacher."

I just finished watching the new movie "Machine Gun Preacher" which tells the true story of former drug-dealing, motorcycle gang, crime filled Sam Childer who found Christ, turned his life around, went on a trip to Uganda and Sudan and found out about Kony and the LRA. So he built an orphanage and fought to save the children there. It is a powerful movie, realistic with it's hard R rating, but powerful none the less. It ended leaving me with questions though. I watch this movie and cannot help but think that what he is doing is what the Lord wants. He is saving these children and giving them a place to stay. He is getting them out of the sex trade and of being children soldiers...and I am all about that. I praise the Lord that he is doing that. What I wonder is the way that he is called "machine gun preacher" that he is using violence against violence. If we look at Christ's teachings He never says to use violence against violence, in fact he talks about a Third way when dealing with conflict...and yet he Also says to help the least of these and Childer is by all means doing that. It has created a conflict in me because I believe what Childer is doing is right and good for the Lord, it just breaks my heart the deaths that have to come of it. I know he is only protecting himself and those kids, and it is eliminating a horrible evil from this world, but I still wonder about the words "redemptive violence." They seem to contradict each other. I can see both sides...I personally do not know what the Lord thinks on the matter, but I do know that he is glad that those little children are safe. So that is what I will go with for now. I'll pray for that orphanage, those children, and leave the rest to God. He is a God of mercy and justice and He knows way more than I could ever even dream of knowing. So we need to pray for the situation in Uganda and Sudan, pray for other parts of the world that need it, Pray for Joseph Kony that he would turn from his evil ways, pray for people like Sam Childer who would do what they feel convicted to do in order to save people's lives. Finally we need to pray for a generation that will actively work towards bringing the Lord's redemptive Kingdom of reconciliation down to this earth.

http://www.machinegunpreacher.org/

The Adventure doesn't end when the trip does...

So I have just returned from an amazing Missions Road Trip week and I am disappointed that it is over. There are so many bonds and stories that have come from this trip and I had the privilege of being an adult leader this trip which taught me so much. Now is the time where I come back and I have to decide how I will react to being home. Will I go back to normal? Will I become bitter and cynical? I've already caught myself doing both and that is not how life should be now. We talked over and over about bringing the mission trip back to our town and living a Missional lifestyle. It may be hard at times, but I know its the life I am called to be a part of. I learned so much on this trip and I learned that life is like a stair case and we need to focus on what God wants us to do on the stair step we currently are on and not the one before or after or our friends staircase. I need to keep that in mind and strive to live a missional lifestyle to make the trip as worth it as it currently feels like it was. Lord guide my actions in this missional life that I want to strive for.

500 days of Realization

Have you ever watched a movie that revealed more to you than it was intended to? That it gave you a realization that you needed to hear. I recently watched the movie 500 days of summer and in its great plot and funny quirks it got me thinking about my past relationships. I always told myself I was "in love." With each girl too. I was so convinced each time, and yet when the going would get tough and things would get rough I would feel that I fell "out of love" and try to find some reason to end it. I always justify my reasons to with the thought "well the number one thing I worry about is finding the right person." But is that really the source of the problem? Or was I even in love to begin with? 

Don't get me wrong I believe in the act of dating its how you figure out what you like in another person...but how do you know when you love that other person? It's so easy to get those warm, fuzzy feelings and when you have them it only makes sense to say that wonderful and yet sometimes dreaded three worded phrase 'I love you.'

So I have realized that I have not loved those past relationships...not the way that I should love the person I will be with forever one day. I thought that I loved them, but love does not bail as soon as things get too hard. Love works together through it. Love is patient, kind, never gives up.

At the beginning of the summer I felt that I should daily read through 1 Corinthians 13 to help grow as a more loving person. Along with that it has also helped me realize what it means to truly love another woman of God. I need to stop living in an illusion of convincing myself I love girls. I need to really let myself fall in love with someone.

I am currently talking with a girl and I know that at any moment if  i wanted to date she would; yet I get so hesitant. I am afraid that she will be just like everyone else. That it will be another pattern that I'll fall into.

I do not want another pattern.
I need to get to know her more and if I feel she could be different strive for that difference. Work towards finding love in her; for her.

To find this love I need to never give up, keep studying the love chapter, and strive to live the way of love.

Lord please help me to live a life of love.

Questions and Activists

You seem to have all the right answers.
You say what I want to say without my searching.
Why is it that you are so hard to believe?

These are common questions that have been running through my head during this summer. It seems that I have started really liking this girl, but I do not want to rush things with her. I do not want to make the wrong decision and then end up unhappy. Why do choices have to be so hard? The worst part is...she lives so far away and until school starts I will not see her.  Why do these thoughts plague me? I wish I knew the answers  and knew what I need to do. I am striving daily to follow the Lord's will for today, but sometimes its hard. Sometimes I wish I knew the answers for the future now. So I need the Lord's help with being patient.

Another issue I have been dealing with this summer is my response to people that are not into the idea of social justice/activism. I am such an activist that it breaks my heart to hear people not be into social justice/missions and it makes me bitter and want to prove to them why they need to be into missions. That has happened most specifically with a woman at my school who so easily gets under my skin for that very reason. I know that I need to love her as Christ does and I strive to each day, I just wish that she would see we are all called to live lives of social justice. My daily prayer has been that the Lord would help me to live a life of reconciliation and accept that only God can change her and I just need to live my life as an example and not try to "prove to her" why Social Justice is the right way. So we'll see what happens. It wouldn't be so hard if it was not for the fact that she is from my district, I know her family, and she will be dating one of my good best friends.

 This is something I feel so many of us may face in life. Not necessarily in these specifics but we'll always have someone who gets under our skin and we'll want to show them we are right. But that is not what the Lord calls us to do. We are called to live humble lives striving more and more to be like Christ.

Busy yet Filled

Busy, busy, busy, and yet filled with so many thoughts and complications as I travel down this summer journey. I have been so busy and so much has happened that one could look back and be amazed. To have two attractive young ladies both into me, now that was not only impressive but put me into a hole. I do not want to live a life attracting multiple women, I want to find that special one. I want to pick her and be with her and treasure her above all the others. Because she is God's creation, a work of art, and I have chosen to be with her. That is what I want.

But we must not just focus on what I want. I must focus on the desires that the Lord gives me and work each and every day to follow them. It has become so easy for me to want to hope for what God wants for my future, but I need to ask God to reveal what He wants me to do today. I have been learning to cut back on trying to figure out what He wants for the future and focusing on the now. When ten years comes down the line I'll know what He wants me to do because I am present with Him in the presence.

I pray that the Lord will use me each and every day to do His will for the building of the Kingdom and that He will help me find a godly, compassionate, woman in His time and not mine own.

Summer, the time of Change.

Summer. Ah the turmoils and adventures of the three month period away from school. My life is rather busy with working at a daycare and being a Youth Intern and yet I manage to have time to read books. There is, however, a major flaw that this summer has done to me. I have been lacking in my spiritual development. Here, back home, it is so easy to blow of time with God that I valued and built up so much back at school. Why is that? Why is it that once Summer roles around, all that I built up starts to change?

I am constantly praying for God to use me, take me out of my comfort zone, and help me to grow. So why is it so hard for me to take time aside for Him? What am I missing? I pray that I will be used as Christs' hands and feet and will be able to be a servant of reconciliation.

Speaking of Reconciliation, my Youth Pastor raised a rather interesting question for me: Is there ever a time where Reconciliation should not be the answer to strive for? It is a rather hard question to tackle, but I have thought a while on it. I would say that in cases of spousal abuse and people who are just poisonous to you after awhile one should not strive for reconciliation, but should remove themselves from the situation. It pains me to say it, but sadly we live in a world filled with evil, sorrow, and hard hearts so there will be people who do not respond to God's wonderful gift of reconciliation through us.

What's a Christ-follower to do in such a broken and jaded world?

Keep on going, showing God's love, and never give up. "Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses." Win the race with love, grace, faith, and peace.


What can you do to be a servant of peace and reconciliation?

Let us Love All

"Perhaps, instead of yelling at our brothers and sisters in Christ to change, instead of manipulating them into doing things the way we think they should be done, or wielding shame and intimidation as steely “spiritual” weapons, we should be praying Paul’s prayer: that we would ALL understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ, and that it would compel us to spiritual, material, and social generosity."- Jenny Rae Armstrong in her blog post "Oppressors, Activists, and Spiritual Stinginess: St. Paul’s Guide to Praying Better Prayers."


This was something I needed to read. As an upcoming Youth Minister activist, I get easily angered when someone neglects the poor. Or when someone makes statements such as "Republican's are the Christian way." or "Oh they said that because they're democrat." Using labels and titles to define people's actions. 


It is so easy to act like I am the "more godly one" and get angry at those ignorant statements. However, Armstrong clearly shows us how we need to work at loving even those people. God commands us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. It's the second greatest commandment.


It did not say "love your neighbors who agree with you." No, it said love everybody.


So if someone is a stubborn republican, love them,


If someone is a homosexual liberal love them.


If someone thinks that the government can take care of the poor, love them.


If someone is an atheist, love them.


If someone is an activist, love them,


If someone is a Christian, love them.


If someone is a human trafficker, love them.


If someone was human trafficked, love them.


The list goes on. No matter who they are, what label they are, what stereotype they are we are called to love them all. This I have been kindly reminded by in Armstrong's blog post, which can be found on redletterchristians.org.


It is through this love and prayer that change will be made. We cannot change people, but the power of God's love can.


Let's fill this world with an irresistible love that can only be explained through the teachings of Christ. 

Letting go and Getting Ready

We are coming to the end of another great adventure. The adventure of my freshmen year of college, and I can honestly say I do not want it to end. I know I have tons of awesome things in the summer and an amazing Sophomore year awaiting me, but I am not ready to let these memories and times go. There have been so many times that I will never forget from this year.

A first semester filled with finding friends, finding love, building those relationships, movie nights during open dorms, "How I Met Your Mother" marathons, Girl-Hating Parties, Bike rides and broken pedals, Bringin' Sexy Back, and so many more adventures.

To the winter month of January. The times of trying out shows, going to Indianapolis, endless amounts of time with the one I loved, Endless amounts of free time, the dreaded two classes that will have nothing to do with my major or future career, and crazy times of shenanigans.

Then to this semester that is coming to  a close. Spring. Life as a single man again. Adventures with One Way, late night Wal-Mart/Taco Bell runs, Adventures getting lost in Columbus, Learning Spiritual disciplines, New found friendships, A week in Orlando FL doing missions, The many friendships I made there, Bean dip, applying for Admissions...and not getting it, watching a movie I swore I never would, watching beautiful relationships prosper and fail, reading great books, and so many adventures.

I could not have asked for a better first year of college and I know the rest will hold many amazing adventures. I know the wait through summer with all that's going on will be fun and worth it, but I am not ready to say goodbye to this dorm. To these friends for three months. To anything. This is the one downfall to living six hours away.

This is a great time to just trust in the Lord. There will be other summers where I will not be spending them at home, but I promised to spend this one at home because I need money for school. I need to trust the Lord that He has a great plan for me. Lead me Lord. Direct me as I embark on this next chapter of the book.

Where am I now?

In this timeline we call life there are many acts of confusion that we go through. Sometimes we are not sure what direction one should take so we take a leap of faith. Sometimes that leap of faith works, yet other times it does not. What should one do in that tragedy of a leap? It would seem to be easiest to just talk to those involved and get away from the situation, but that could only hurt. I do not want to hurt anyone and yet I do not know how far I can go with this. I started with good intentions, but where am I now?

Silence. Listen. Silence.

Stress. Worry. Overwhelmed. Burnt Out. Too Much. Confusion. Unsure. Decisions.

Ah the words that are so rough, yet so prominent in our society today. Our noisy, always moving, always scheduled society. Why is it that we let ourselves be defined but such dehumanizing words?

We sometimes need to take a break in life.

Stop and Enjoy the Flowers.

Stop and Be Silent.

Read Scripture.

Journal.

Sit.

Sleep.

Pray.

Listen.

Listen for God's Will.

I know more than anything right now it's what I need to do.

Look to the Stars...

Stars. There are so many and yet they can so often be neglected. It is so easy to forget about that which is above us. I was sitting at what we call The Eternal Flame reading Scripture and Journaling this evening and when I arose I saw a shooting star. It was one star, but it was beautiful and caused me to continue to look at the sky. I noticed so many stars were out and they created beautiful shapes and glows. There was one particular star that was glowing bright and orangish. I remembered faintly from high school Astronomy class that it was a planet, but I cannot for the life of me remember which one. As I began to return to my dorm I could not take my eyes off of the stars; I was gazing up at the sky instead of looking straight ahead or down at the ground. Then I had a thought: How often do we stare ahead or down at the sidewalk and miss out on what's above us? We get so focused on the busyness of life that we neglect what is above us; what is given to us by our Creator. What would our lives look like if we gazed at the sky more? Let us take this to a deeper level now. How often do we go through our Spiritual Journey in life looking "straight ahead" at what we need to do for the future or "down at the ground" in the present? A better question would be how often do we truly look up to our Father? We pray for Him to lead us along His will and are our taught how He moves in mysterious ways, but do we truly see most of what He does? Maybe we need to break off from the distractions of life and actually look for God and what He is doing. How different would our life be if instead of going through the routine of life we actually looked for everything  that Christ is doing--the big and the small. So I want to invite everyone to stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the ONE who gave it all, to stand with our souls surrendered and make all we are HIS.

Make the Invisible Children VISIBLE!

Watch this video 

Spread the word

Become a part of the Movement

WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

SHOW GOD'S LOVE TO THIS WORLD

BRING PEACE

Matthew 25:40 

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

What is L...ust?

Lust. The evil word that we are commanded to stay away from. The word that when Christ mentions it he says "So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away..." (Matt. 5:29a) Think about the implications of that. Gauge out your eye!? Surely that would not take away the ability to lust. What then must we do? Famous theologian and leading New Testament Scholar N.T. Wright interprets this section to mean that by not giving into lust it may sometimes be so hard it feels like you are gauging out your eye. The point is to find ways to remove the temptation. But here is my main question, is Lust simply something sexual? Sure the connotation and most of the definitions are, but they can also simply mean "desire." Surely we have more desires than just sexual ones? Rob Bell, in his book Sex God: exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality, says "There is so much to enjoy, yet we fixate on something we don't have." That I believe sums up what lust is. It promises us something that it can't give. It makes us want something we don't have. So what is Lust? I propose it is an overwhelming desire for anyone or anything that tries to manipulate and destroy our lives. It can be a desire for someone--maybe that girl you really like, or that boy you're dying to talk to--, A desire for the next new book--even though you still have hundreds you have yet to read--, A desire to spend time with certain people, watching certain movies, doing certain sports, doing certain activities. These are all good and godly things when done right, but when perverted by an evil desire they can become lust and thus not good for our lives. I propose we give those things we lust after to God and let God redefine them in our lives and make us new as His children with desires for the good of His creation.

God works in the dish room.

The other day I was working in the dish room--The dreaded job where so much food is wasted--and since not many people seem to want to talk during work there is a lot of time to think about things. Naturally, my mind was wandering this way and that and I started worrying about things that I had to do and issues. Well I spontaneously had the urge to just right there, during work, pray in my mind. I began praying to God about well everything and anything. In my prayer I realized that when I decided to go on the Spring Break Missions Trip to Florida I did not say anything to God about it or ask what His will is. How messed up is that? I then realized God is the first person I should have gone to and I began praying about the trip and then just for His will. In the middle of my prayer I had the memory from Winter Break come back where my parents said "I wish you didn't have to come back here for break, you should go somewhere like Florida!" and it hit me. They could have said any place for Spring break, but they said Florida...the place that the school is taking a Missions trip to. Also I could have thought of anything, any memory then...but it was this memory mentioning Florida that came to mind in my prayer for God's will. Then I felt a tug at my heart and realized the Florida trip is where God wants me to go. It is hard to describe this feeling I got when I realized it, but it was a combinations of peace and excitement to actually know for sure something that God wanted me to do. God works in mysterious ways. The next time that someone tells me that God can't use them, I'll simply tell them that He can because God even works in the dish room.

Time to let go, God is in control.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?  Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing,  yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

  “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.  Seek the Kingdom of God^[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

  “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." -Matthew 6:24-34

This passage really stands out to me today as I have begun to realize how crippling worry truly is. There are times in life where it is easy to fall into a dry valley in your spiritual life and it is hard to figure out the reasoning behind it. I truly believe that God showed me this reason tonight by simply doing my homework. I was enrolled in a class entitled Introduction to the Spiritual Journey in the fall, but due to the amount of people in the class I got pushed to take it in the Spring--which is now. So, from the moment I walked into the first class I felt like it would be good for me in this rough valley. It is better than I thought, in fact it is as if God intended this class to be now to help me through this valley. Is that the definite answer? I do not know, but whatever the case I believe God is using the class to help me. To elaborate more on that conjecture, I must explain that we are supposed to read the book Making All Things New by Henri Nouwen. I picked up the book for the first time today and began reading, and well I am hooked. It is talking about how worry grips our life and prevents us from growing in our Spiritual walk. It is amazing how God works to show us what we need to fix. Shows me that I need to completely surrender my worry to Christ. That is probably going to be one of the hardest things for me to do right now, because it's so easy to fall into worrying about anything and everything. But I know with the strength God provides I can do it. It is time to let go and let God take my worries. God works in miraculous and amazing ways. God is Good.

You Make Beautiful Things

All this pain 
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way

I wonder if my life could really change at all

All this earth

Could all that is lost ever be found

Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

All around

Hope is springing up from this old ground

Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new

You make me new, You are making me new

You are making me new

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new

You make me new, You are making me new

We need Community. We need God. We need Relationships. As the Trinity is Three in One, so should these three be. For God makes beautiful things from the dust regardless of our flaws. 

The Seeker in the Valley.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD.

 “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 

If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.'" 

These words from Jeremiah 29:11-13 are very often heard but how often do we listen to them? We know that God has a plan for us but what does that entail? A better question to ask is how do we figure out His plan for us individually? I feel like the second part of these verses--12-13--gets overlooked at times. We need to actively seek God and not just pray, but spend the amount of time that one talks to God, quiet and listening. It is one thing to ask and listen and it is another thing to do it wholeheartedly. If we look at these verses we see that if we look wholeheartedly we will find God. There are times however where we feel like we do not feel His presence even though we are sincere. I know that if we look at Proverbs 3:5-6 one learns that if we seek God's will He will direct us. One also knows that if they are on track with God their desires will be God's will, but there are times when it is hard to discern if you are truly on track at that point. Since Holiness, Sanctification, and our Spiritual Journey are constant and do not end until we meet our Creator, there are times where we need to grow in order to be confident about God's will for us. 

So now the plane--I mentioned in the previous post--has crashed. There is a wreck on this Island and I am just seeking the Savior to find redemption here. I am not necessarily happy that it finally crash landed, but I know that it is what needed to happen. I know there will come a day that is better and compared to the brokenness in the world I am doing well, but I need to seek God more. I now know that I need to make Him more apart of my life as I work my way through this valley in my journey. Even stuck in the after effects of the crash, I know that I must seek God and His will and He will provide...Man is not alone. God is relational. God is with Us.

The Curse of the Never Crashing Plane.

There comes a time in ones life when they think an era has ended, but then there comes another time when one truly does end. The worst part is realizing that it's coming to a close and yet, as a good friend put it, it's like a plane is crashing and gravity is somehow preventing it from landing. You know that the inevitable crash is going to happen and then in the future things will begin to unwind, but it's this constant falling that has created so much tension. It's like that time in life where you know you need to do something and you feel like it's the right thing to do...but you just do not know if it's truly best for you or how to go about it. There are times, such as now, where I just wish that the crash could happen and be done with. Times where I wish Oceanic Flight 815 would just crash, because I know it's going to crash and land on an Island where something good will eventually arise from the wreckage...but when will that time come? If I take the initiative and make the plane crash wouldn't that be worse than letting the plane crash on its own time? But maybe the plane will never crash if I don't make it. Just as Oceanic Flight 815 crashed because of Jacob and Desmond not pushing "The Button." Should I let it go and crash already? My fall semester and J-term have come to an end, so shall I allow that to become the end of this era? I thought before was the end of an era, but now so much more is changing. The dynamics of everything and the plans that were created are just minutes away from ending. What should I do? As the great poet Shakespeare once said, "To be or not to be, that is the Question." I just do not know what I should do about this never crashing plane. Curse gravity and it's want to keep this in the air.

Realizations don't change the world, Actions do.

The end of this relaxing, glorious break is about to come. There were so many great events that transpired during this break and many realizations. Today I had made plans to spend lunch with a well known friend only to have the plans cancelled...again. Now I won't let this get to me--as I never do--but it certainly made me question my high school choices. I had been so determined--at times only subconsciously--not to make many close friends in this town that went below surface level. Don't get me wrong, I still had many close friends who were below surface level, but they all seemed to live so far away. I always wondered why it was hard for me to make close connections--I have a few here, but not many my age--here in my own hometown. There were times when I thought maybe it was because I knew that I would be leaving for college...but that didn't explain the close friends miles away. It was not until being stood up again on this break that I realized the real answer. I had lost my two childhood best friends in high school in this small town. Now by lost I do not mean they have passed away, but I mean we drifted apart. One still calls me her "best friend" and the other still likes to hang out but it is not really the same. So why should I be so disappointed when they cancel on me? It's like they did when we drifted apart. I should be used to this, but there is still a small part of me that is bummed about it. So, sure I have been given a realization through this, but that does not make it any easier. I will always have a place in my heart of this small town, but sadly I will not have too much trouble leaving it behind one day...only to return for visiting sake. Its a sentimental feeling, especially with my family speaking of moving in the future, but it's life. We need to stop fretting about things in our past and just be optimistic about our present and future ready to make a difference in this world. So instead of focusing on realizations, We all need to take the advice they say in the song "Wavin' Flag" by artist K'Naan and redone by Artist United for Haiti.

How come when the media stops covering

 and there’s a little help from the government

we forget about the people still struggling

and assume that its really all love again, nahh

see we don’t have to wait for things to break apart

if you weren’t involved before it’s never too late to start

you probably think that it’s too far to even have to care

well take a look at where you live what if it happened there?

you have to know the urge to make a change lies within

and we can be the reason that they see their flag rise again.

So as we begin this new year, filled with promise, let us all join together to make a difference in this world. One person cannot change the world alone. It would be so easy just to have made a resolution that you will soon break, but instead of another meaningless one let us all do something meaningful this year. Let's all do our part to make a difference and to work towards bringing heaven to earth. I will work towards making 2012 the year of making a difference for the betterment of God's Kingdom coming to Earth.