Since the beginning of my sophomore year I have been wrestling with my call into ministry. It all started one morning in chapel when I was half-awake. I felt a desire to think about urban ministry and spent that weekend in crisis trying to figure out if I should switch to that due to my passions for social justice. However, by the end of the weekend I was back to being okay with just having ICS as a second, undeclared, minor. This thought, however, has not completely left my mind; I mean I have neglected the idea of changing from Youth and I am for sure not doing urban...but that does not mean my wrestling has ended.
I have not felt content with having this undeclared minor of ICS. I was not honestly sure if it was because it was undeclared so did not involve too much commitment or what; then I heard a man in my Greek talk about how he was doubling in Pastoral and Theological studies major and I immediately thought that it would be beneficial and cool to double with Theological study, but like I have been doing a lot recent, I brushed off the thought. As the weeks have progressed, I have been being very reflective and thinking a lot about philosophy, theology, and how it is my pet peeve when people discredit youth ministers and think that they do not know much theology.
Then this past weekend, my father emailed me explaining why I should change to Pastoral ministry. I immediately knew that I was not changing to that--for I had decided that a long time ago--but I did take this as an excuse to evaluate what would be the best combination with Youth Ministry that goes with my calling and my passions. Then tonight, while my lovely girlfriend is away in Dallas, I have had the free time to spend time contemplating and looking into the course requirements of different majors.
I came to realize that the major of Theological Studies has most of the same religion courses as Youth ministry, but also has a couple pastoral and philosophy classes that would be very beneficial to my calling. I began comparing that to Pastoral and ICS and Religion support and realized that there weren't many ICS classes that I was dying to take and that the theology major has the classes that I need for ordination. It was then, sitting here at my desk listening to Indy music, that I realized Youth Ministry and Theological Studies--if it is permissible--would be a great combination and I would be able to drop my minors and just if I ever have space take the occasional ICS class. With this mentality I realized that I would be able to take any extra ICS classes that I felt I missed out when I go for my masters one day.
So, I have sent out emails to speak to certain people to see if this is truly the route that I should approach. It would make sense, because I love reading theology and when it comes to social justice that is something that I can do no matter my major. I have been realizing recently that as people we like to categorize things and say that you have to be in a certain major to like something...but really if I am passionate about social justice, I can bring about change within the ministry setting I am at. Why should I have to go and leave where I am called to do social justice? I should do it in my calling because ONE: that is where God wants me and TWO: If I don't focus on justice where I am at, who will?
This reflective night makes me think of drinking coffee, reading scripture, studying theology. Three of my favorite things. One of the best parts of this is my girlfriend is a youth ministry major as well. In my previous post I talked about pursuing this girl, well I have and we are now in a relationship and I have the intentions to one day marry this girl. I feel great about her and I feel more than ever that I want this one to work out. She does not fall under any of the previous patterns and she is amazing in every way. We have so much in common. I, above all, in this relationship am excited about partnering alongside her to do ministry.
Well, that is about all I have for tonight. I was considering writing this in my physical journal tonight, but decided I was more in the mood for typing. So this time this handy dandy blog gets to hear my thoughts from the dust.
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