Here's to finishing another journal!

As another year comes to a close I have finished yet another one of my many journals. I have written about my experiences, taken notes from lectures, prayed long drawn out prayers, and have often asked the question "why" this year. There have been so many places that I have journeyed to and a diverse amount of new experiences in this year of 2014. 

I began my year with a trip to Indianapolis, Kansas City, and Chicago. On this trip we explored many diverse cultures and ministries in both Christian and other religious contexts. We visited the Temple of the Reformed Church of the Ladder Day Saint, a Hindu Temple, the church Jacob's Well, a Hindu worship service we were invited to by a group we ran into at the Plaza, and many more places. I learned a lot about each culture we studied and examined how to best spread the gospel with each culture we analyzed. 

If this trip did not satisfy my wanderlust then the one in March certainly did at least for awhile. I journeyed with a small team to Cascade Pichon, Haiti to help build a school. Here I fell even more in love with development and working with other cultures. I got to see the beauty of all ages working together to build this place of learning and of a people working together to do their best with what they have. I learned about "dégagé" and creative lifestyles: it makes one want to strive to live simpler. In preparation for this trip I gave up social media in an effort to live more simply during the Lenten season and this mindset only continued after this trip. Haiti was life changing and was a trip my life had been building up to through my experience in Belize and then with my involvement in collecting shoes for Haiti for the past two years. This trip affirmed my love for cross cultural missions. 

After an amazing trip, much to my lovely girlfriends dismay, I ventured to Birmingham, Alabama and then New Orleans, Louisianna for an exciting and busy summer working for youthworks. This trip affirmed my calling into youth ministry and helped me gain experience working with nonprofits. During the summer I really began to value community and see the importance of longevity and intentionality. I grew incredibly close to my team this year which showed me how invested into people's lives I can get in such a short time period. I had experienced this last summer, but my team in NOLA really showed me what a team family can be like. 

Finally after 3 full months I returned to Ohio to see my lovely girlfriend and spend a few days volunteering at the camp that she works at. It was a nice transition from not seeing her and working 17 hour days. Returning to college and my dearest love, I had decided to focus on investing in the local community and giving back where I could. In order to do this I became a Student Mentor and Academic Peer Mentor at my university in order to invest into the lives of freshmen and those in my living area. If this did not keep me busy enough I decided to take on another job while striving to be actively involved with my local church--a small group of roughly 39-40 people who meet in a storefront. I became an Ambassador for YouthWorks which successfully fulfills my love of recruiting and allows me to stay connected with this organization which I have grown to love. Throughout my busy schedule I began learning a few French words when I would work in the cafeteria because my coworker is a native of Montreal and her first language was French.

In the midst of my busy schedule I was diving into my theology courses discussing Christian Holiness and Open theism. Through my theology course I realized that I believe in a cross between open theism and process theism. I was able to express my thoughts on open theism and God's foreknowledge through a paper that shares my belief that God fully knows the past, present, and is journeying into the many known and unknown possibilities of the future because God's very nature is love. This topic was one I had been thinking about all year. 2014 was a year of questioning and wrestling with God's nature and my own calling.

In the midst of all these findings I made one of the highest decisions of my life. I spontaneously proposed to my lovely girlfriend after the end of a fun weekend trip to Lexington, Kentucky. The rest of my year has been spent planning a wedding, reading theology, reading the life changing book "The Sparrow", learning to crotchet, traveling to both sets of families, and slowly becoming coffee experts with both automated and manual coffee makers. 

As this year has come to an end it is easy to reflect on the good and bad parts of this crazy and adventurous year. I have learned many new skills, have gained new ideas and I have learned more what it means to love others. This morning I received a huge affirmation that my calling is for Youth ministry when I student from Youth Works contacted me on facebook and asked me for advice on how to get HIS youth group on a missions trip. It was exactly what I needed to end this year on a good note. I have also started making hats and now one pair of mittens so I would say it's gonna be a good year. 

So here's to 2015! Here's to graduation, to getting married, to moving to a new town, to starting a new post-grad job, learning to make new clothes, and living a life of simplicity with my almost wife. Here's to a new year of adventures and love! Let us all love!

The Waiting Season

Waiting. Waiting is an element that is pervasive all throughout life. Every human being experiences some form of waiting. There is waiting for the weekend to end and finals to begin. Waiting for my wedding in August. Waiting to finish my current loom project. Waiting to find a job for after graduation. Waiting for the coming of Christ and the day the world will be renewed. There is so much waiting. As I have been sitting in my apartment since 2 A.M., listening to my "Folksy Christmas" Spotify playlist, and looming I cannot help, but think about the advent season that we are in. Advent is a beautiful time to reflect on this idea of waiting. Advent is a wonderful time during the Church calendar that can help us better anticipate the coming kingdom.

As I have been reflecting this evening I have been reminded that waiting does not mean being stagnant. Waiting is about anticipating and preparing for the outcome. I am preparing for finals through studying, planning my wedding by working out the necessary details, anticipating a future job by searching for one, and anticipating the coming of the Kingdom by working to bring about the Kingdom of Heaven on earth in the here and now. As I wait for the caffeine in my system to wear off so that I can sleep I have decided to read the lectionary readings for church tomorrow and reflect on them as I prepare for the second full week of Advent. The Gospel reading comes from Mark 1:1-8, which says,

 "The beginning of the good news of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. As it is written in the prophet Isaiah, “See, I am sending my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way; the voice of one crying out in the wilderness: ‘Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight,’” John the baptizer appearedin the wilderness, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. And people from the whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem were going out to him, and were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins. Now John was clothed with camel’s hair, with a leather belt around his waist, and he ate locusts and wild honey.  He proclaimed, “The one who is more powerful than I is coming after me; I am not worthy to stoop down and untie the thong of his sandals. I have baptized you with water; but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.”

The other readings (Epistle, Old Testament, and Psalm) go along excellently with this passage which is all about preparing and anticipating for the coming King. In Mark's retelling of this story, we see this radical homeless guy going around and declaring that the Lord is coming and we need to prepare. John is not just sitting around in some Synagogue, but instead he is out in the wilderness baptizing people with water and preparing the way for the coming King. How often do we do nothing when we are waiting? I think the good news of the Gospel this week is that we can do something while we wait. We are called to prepare the way and anticipate. We all can find ways to help usher in the Kingdom as we wait for the Age to Come. This can be done through helping out at your local homeless shelter, helping your elderly neighbor with their groceries, asking for forgiveness, shopping ethically for the holiday seasons, babysitting for those parents that never get a day for themselves, treating the cashiers at your favorite convenient stores with respect and love (as well as those who work at your least favorite stores), getting to know people with developmental disabilities, loving the hard to love and getting to know their stories, and so many more things. There is so much brokenness in this world which means there is so much more we can be doing as we anticipate the day when all things will be made into how they were intended to be. 

May we continue into this Advent season with an attitude of anticipation that is coupled with action.

Hope in the midst of darkness

Tonight I decided to join friends to view the Premier showing of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay part 1 and I was incredibly impressed with its accuracy to the book and its excellent portrayal of the terrors of violence and war. This particular book in the trilogy was always my favorite and I would easily say that this movie adaptation exceeded expectations. There are two particular scenes that really stood out to me in this movie and these scenes are not what people would expect because they were short interruptions into the overall theme. [SPOILER] The first scene took place in the middle of the movie when Gale tells Katniss that they were given permission to go above ground in District 13 to go hunting. In this scene they are preparing to shoot an animal and then notice that the creature had seen them and is not moving for it does not appear scared. Katniss points out that this animal is not scared of them because it had never been hunted before. They then decided not to kill the animal and walked down by the river to sit there feeling the wind on their skin and hearing the water flow below them. This scene was so simple and yet it showed humanity and goodness in the midst of the terrible war going on all around them. While everywhere was chaotic and seemed to have no silver lining, they were able to still value the innocence of this animal and take a few minutes to experience the beauty of nature. The other scene was when they were all taking shelter on the 40th floor of District 13 and Katniss was using a flashlight to play with Prim's cat while everyone watched and laughed. This scene resulted in a revelation for Katniss, but that is not what made me enjoy it. This scene showed once again that in the midst of trials, violence, and destruction the protagonists were able to find joy in a little game. They were able to bring about a few moments of goodness.

So often in our life we get so caught up in the injustices in this world. We see all those people who have been marginalized. We feel the pain that many have felt and gone through. It can be so easy to get caught up in the chaos of life that we miss out on the little events in life. We can miss the good and develop feelings of hopelessness, when in reality there is goodness and hope all around us we just have to find it. This brings to mind something I witnessed at church during the past two weeks. We have recently gained a few younger members to our small congregation of 40 and we have the blessing of worshiping alongside these children. For the past two weeks there was been a toddler who has walked into the middle of the aisle and started dancing to the music. This little boy has no embarrassments or inhibitions, but was simply celebrating through dance. This is something we often neglect because we get caught up in tradition and even the distractions of life, but this little boy brought that into perspective for us. This little boy reminded me of the good news of the gospel. This boy reminded me that is really is GOOD NEWS. This little boy brought goodness into our little church and brought smiles to all in this busy, chaotic world.

But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs" (Matt. 19.14. NRSV).

Awakenings

This evening I watched the incredible Robin Williams movie, Awakenings. I had gone into this movie with good expectations of how it would be but, there was no way I could have predicted how much I loved it. Just when I believe that I have seen the best Robin William's movie I see another one that tops that.

The movie tells the true story of the neurologist Dr. Sayer who gets hired at a local hospital in the Bronx and ended up working with catatonic patients.Over time, through analyzing the patients, he discovers that they will respond to certain stimuli that relate to their reflexes. Through research he discovers that the L-Dopa drug allows the patients to be "awakened" and bring them back to reality. This appears to be an incredible break through for the hospital. Once the patients are awaken they all begin sharing what they like, don't like, what they want, and things they like to do. At one point the De Niro's character, Leonard, expressed that he wanted to be able to go on a walk, to get to know people, to do things that regular human beings take for granted. Leonard talks about how he was locked up for many years in his mind and could not do anything and now he wants to just live life.

So often in life we need reminders like this one from Leonard. We can so easily take for granted the little things in life like taking a walk. We can take for granted the loved ones who are all around us. We can take for granted the simplest touch of a fellow human being. As I reflect on my evening I realize how often I take for granted the times that I spend going on walks with my girlfriend. We do not always go on walks but, when we do I do not realize how lucky we are to be able to walk around and enjoy this simple freedom. To be able to take in every smell, to see all the forms around us, and to feel the air and the ground and everything around us. To not be trapped in our brains but, to be able to explore the world.

[SPOILER]

At the end of the movie the drug begins to wear off and they soon realize that the effects were not permanent. Over time the residents returned to their dormant state but, this time things were different. This time the doctors and nurses realized that these people were still living; they realized that they had thinking minds that knew they were there. This is shown very beautifully at the end when you see the nurses and visitors treating the non-responsive residents as if they were still acting. They were treating them as humans and showing them dignity by putting make-up on some, leading some to the window so they could see out of it, and talking to some of them.

As followers of the Way, we need to be about waking people up and reminding them of the beauty of life all around them. We need to value and appreciate each others humanity. We need to show our neighbor that we see value in them and love them. We need to awaken one another up to our true potential; our true humanity.

 “Sleeper, awake! Rise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” 

(Eph. 5.14. New Living Translation).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAz-prw_W2A 

Why Left Behind should be left behind.

I just returned from seeing the Left Behind remake and I am reminded of many memories of my childhood. This poorly done remake focuses solely on the plane ride of those who were left behind after the rapture. This movie was laced with horrible acting, awful implications (such as an elderly woman with Alzheimer's disease getting left behind or the one Arab in the movie being a Muslim who gets left behind), horribly cheesy Christian merchandise on the items of all the Christians, and simply put horrible theology. If that was not bad enough the movie ends [SPOILER] with the plane finally landing, everyone embracing, and the three protagonists, Ray, Chloe, and Buck holding hands as Mark 13:33 plays across the screen. As the credits played to Jordan Spark's rendition of I wish we'd all been ready I could not help but, see the evangelistic theme of the film. It was clear that this horrible theology was turned into a movie to draw in people so they will be scared into Salvation. This worries me and is not how I believe Salvation should work. It may have worked before but, it hardly works now and seems pretty manipulative.

This idea of the rapture comes from Dispensational Premillennialism theology which did not even originate until the 19th century by a Revivalist known as John Nelson Darby. As cheesy as this film was it worries me. The fact that Hollywood finds a need to remake this film makes me worry that people will see this and buy into the theology of escapism. Left Behind and these ideas of the rapture lead to thoughts of the earth--which God created and said was good in Genesis--being evil and meant to be destroyed and that we should be taken from it. This line of thinking can lead Christians to believing we should not care for the earth because one day we will leave it. I find the words of protagonist Chloe Steele in this new adaptation to accurately describe how we should view this theology when she says, "The God my mother talked about would never do this!" 

Instead we should view Revelation as liturgy for what has happened filled with allegories, metaphors, and symbols. We need to view Revelation as we would view the entirety of Scripture: out of a hermeneutic of love. The point of Scripture is God's love and his saving grace. Scripture tells us Jesus is coming to renew this earth that He said was good and building the Kingdom of Heaven here. This is not escapist theology. This is a theology of caring for creation, of loving your enemies and neighbors, of showing everyone what God's love looks like and how we can better build God's kingdom here. A Kingdom without violence, terrors, hate, isolation, exclusion, and destruction. A Kingdom where people are not Left Behind.

For more great resources on this see:
Reading Revelation Responsibly: Uncivil Worship and Witness by Michael Gorman 
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thepangeablog/2014/06/05/a-raptureless-theology/
Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright

Jonah and Redemption

When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil ways, God changed his mind about the calamity that he had said he would bring upon them; and he did not do it.
 But this was very displeasing to Jonah, and he became angry. 2 He prayed to the Lord and said, “O Lord! Is not this what I said while I was still in my own country? That is why I fled to Tarshish at the beginning; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and ready to relent from punishing. 3 And now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” 4 And the Lord said, “Is it right for you to be angry?” 5 Then Jonah went out of the city and sat down east of the city, and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, waiting to see what would become of the city.
6 The Lord God appointed a bush,[a] and made it come up over Jonah, to give shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort; so Jonah was very happy about the bush. 7 But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the bush, so that it withered. 8 When the sun rose, God prepared a sultry east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint and asked that he might die. He said, “It is better for me to die than to live.”
9 But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the bush?” And he said, “Yes, angry enough to die.” 10 Then the Lord said, “You are concerned about the bush, for which you did not labor and which you did not grow; it came into being in a night and perished in a night. 11 And should I not be concerned about Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also many animals?”-Jonah 3:10-4:11

When I heard this passage read as the Old Testament Lectionary reading on Sunday I could not help but be reminded of high school. Since the my early high school years I had a passion of letting people know how Jonah actually ended. I got so tired of seeing the flannel graph adaptations where kids assume that Jonah changed his ways after he preached to Ninevah. People often neglect the fact that he was bitter, had prejudices, and wanted God to destroy this city of the Assyrians. How often do we, as Christians, act just like Jonah here?

How often do we preach that God is loving and wants to forgive us if we are repentant but, then assume that God will obliterate anyone who thinks differently than we do? We look at horrible situations like ISIS and demand retribution but, as the Pastor at church so greatly pointed out, modern day Ninevah would be like ISIS. Yes, what they are doing is some of the most horrendous and dehumanizing things but, we have to wonder how God views them and if they are in the scope of God's redeeming love and forgiveness. It can be easy to think of our enemies, of that person right down the street that just gets under your skin, and say we'll "pray for them" while secretly hoping that they "get what they deserve" for the way they treat us. Instead maybe we should walk over, share the good news of redemption, and get to know their story. When we pray for our enemies let's actually mean it and hope for God's redemption to come into their lives.

Why do we do ministry? Why do we preach the "good news" and why should we even live out the "good news"? Is it to fulfill an obligation? Is it because we're told we have to? Or is it because it's actually good news? Is it that God actually does have mercy and chooses to love all of us? Is sharing the good news a response to the grace we have been given?

Let's stop whining about why we cannot have instant gratification or why sometimes we are uncomfortable. Let's stop assuming that God won't do what God says God will do! If God says that He is merciful and will free us then that is what God will do! Let's get up and share this good news with the assurance that God is one who forgives. God provides new life. And God can redeem even the worst of foes. 

The Pineapple Incident...

It's the end of the day and I am exhausted. I have done a lot throughout this particular day and I was ready just to crash into my bed. There were good aspects of the day and there were bad aspects. I was ready to return to dreamland in hopes to escape certain moments of this particular day. I was tired of thinking for right now.

As I climbed up into my top bunk I reflected on my entire day. I thought of things I could have done differently and then I pondered whether or not I would want to have done them differently. I felt bogged down and exhausted. As I began to lay my head down I caught a whiff of something fruity. Something was off. Luckily I looked at my pillow before I set my head on it. There was an odd shaped lump in my pillow. I pulled it out to examine my discovery and found...

A simple prank. I found myself chuckling and wanting to share with others this reference to an unanswered HIMYM episode. This simple act brightened my night. It took my mind off of the craziness of the day and focused on the fact that I have acquired a pineapple. How great is that? It put today into a better perspective. It's senior year and even though I do not know where I am going next I know where I am today. I need to live in the present with my community in the here and now. I need to enjoy the little things. I need to partake in godly play, as one of my former youth ministry classes taught. I need to find a balance between all the academics and ministry opportunities to play with others. We are made for community and relaxation.

So take a step back, live in the present, and give someone a pineapple. Who knows? You may just make their night.

Thoughts from Kayaking

"I've looked into this option and it could work if we did this...but I also looked into this other option which could help in this situation." As I paddled my kayak ahead down the stream I rambled on and on about the research I had been doing for post-grad plans. I kept talking about all the different options I knew of and the various ideas I had been concocting that day. Before I knew it I had paddled my way a significant distance away from my kayaking partner...my date.

My lovely girlfriend finally caught up to me and pointed out a baby eagle flying above us. I looked up briefly to see this beautiful creature and then returned to my ramblings. The lovely woman of valor next to me continued to look around the river at the beautiful green forest and all the creatures around it. Then a thought from my past sputtered through my mind. I began to bring up old memories and experiences from before. I talked and talked as I slowly fell behind my companion until I found myself just as far behind her as I had previously been in front of her. Falling behind as I journeyed down memory lane.

THUNK. My kayak stopped dead in its tracks. I tried to scoot it forward but, it simply would not moved. bottomed out. I had bottomed out. I quickly got out of my kayak and brought it up towards where my dearest was and began to place it back in the water.

"That's not where you put it." She smiled at me as I looked quizzically at her. In my confusion, she walked over to me and pointed towards where we had come from. "We are not there anymore..." then she pointed to where we were headed. "We are not there yet..." finally she motioned around us. "This is where we are at now. This is our present. Be here, now." 

As I looked around at God's creation and looked at the woman next to me I realized I had the wrong focus. I had been focusing too much on either the past or what I could do for the future. I was not focusing on the present while I was on this date with my amazing girlfriend. This kayaking trip taught me that though Senior year may have stress and senioritis, I need to learn to be truly present with those around me. As a great speaker once said to me, "If you know what God wants you to do in the present when the future comes you'll know what he wants you to do because you knew what He was calling you to in that present."

We all need that person in our life who can anchor us back to the present and help us see the beauty all around us.

Pondering on Atonement

For the past several months I have been wrestling with Atonement theories. I have grown up hearing the idea that Christ had to come down and take the place on the cross for our sins. We quote Bible verses such as, "“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life" (John 3.16, New Revised Standard Version) and translate it to mean that Christ took the place to satisfy an angry God. Or there is the theory that God in His love could not be near sin so sent His Son to die and destroy Sin so that we may be able to be purified and enter into His presence. There are many theories of Atonement and I would agree with the theologian Tony Jones that many of them likely got some aspects right but, not all.

But I would like to present another idea one that very likely is not original but, has been on my mind. What if the reason why Jesus became human and allowed himself to die on a cross was to show us that He loved us enough to become like us and die the worst possible death that we could experience. He came simply to suffer with us, love with us, dwell among us. He wanted to show he was not some far off, transcendent God who did not care. This would show us that if the Son of God is able to come down and go through this we should not be discouraged and should follow His example of the life He lived. It seems to me that we often stop atonement theories here. We say the Cross is what it's all about but, here's the problem with that: if the Cross is all that matters then we are hopeless. All that the Cross shows us is death. If the story ended with the Cross then it would end with Jesus' death but, we know the story does not end there. Three days later Jesus is resurrected and what if His resurrection is to show the resurrection that will await us in the age to come? What if Jesus was saying, "Just as I have loved the best I could until my death--and had the worst kind of death--so can you and if you will do as I have done you will to be resurrected." That is the good news. That Jesus is inviting us to live the life of the Resurrection. He is inviting us to choose life, reject evil, love the unlovable, love the lovable, and spread the good news of the Resurrection as we await that day where Christ returns to be fully here, fully reigning on earth as it is in Heaven. 

Strengths build community

Positivity. Includer. Input. Developer. Connectedness.

These are my top five strengths according to the Strength Finder 2.0 test (http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx). Properly understanding how these strengths work and what they mean helped me to see how they completely describe my life.  I have found that understanding my strengths can open my eyes to why I can struggle with working well with certain types of people. We have different strengths. We do things differently. 

In life and in our vocation it can be easy to focus on perfecting our weaknesses. We tend to see what we are not good at and try to change that. We are a culture that strives for perfection even one that is diverse in its appearance. This perfection can lead to competition which when not kept in check can rule a persons life. 

I'd like to argue that we need to focus on our strengths. Point out what strengths our co-workers have and let them work with those strengths as we work with our own. We need to stop falling into the competitive life style and realize that whatever vocation we have we can still work together with people to further the kingdom. We all have different strengths to bring to the table. 

This mentality is what brought my YouthWorks staff team close this summer. Instead of living a life of competing who was better, we realized we all had our own strengths to bring to the team. Where one member was lacking another could step in. That's what true Christian community looks like: building each other up with our strengths.  

It's always hard to say 'Goodbye'

"Tanner! I missed you! You came back!" I heard the voice before I felt the small arms wrap around my waist. I looked down into the beautiful brown eyes of six year old Peyton as she took my hand and led me to the front of the Boys and Girls Club. Her face was beaming as she paraded me around as her best friend who had finally come back to visit. This was my third or fourth time at the Boys and Girls Club but, those times I had been there I really connected with this particular student. "Can I have that?!" She asked as she noticed the little Youth Specialties flash light on my key chain and knowing this was my last day at this site I decided to let her have the light. Her smile grew as she analyzed the flashlight I had put into her hand and she skipped to her classroom. After 5 minutes of making sure that everyone was situated I made my way to Peyton's classroom to say my final goodbye. As I entered the room we made eye contact and it was as if she knew what was coming and she began to tear up. I hugged her several times as I explained how I would be leaving New Orleans and she would be starting school soon so I would not see her anymore. With tears in her eyes she hugged me one last time as I told her the flashlight was a gift so she could remember me.
I walked out of that building praying and hoping that Peyton would have a good life. That she would realize she is an amazing daughter of God and has so much great potential. She greatly impacted my life.

******************

"I should have bought her flowers!" Eric, an intellectually disabled worker, sang for the fifth time as he presented one of the girl volunteers at Arc with fake Mardi Gras flowers. Eric had been doing the move all morning and many people were getting tired of it but, I could not help but smile at him. He loved this song and he loved the attention it gave him. At the beginning of the summer Eric was the last worker at Arc that I thought I'd get to know and yet through the weeks we had developed a friendship. It was tradition for me to lose at a thumb wrestling match every Monday and greet him by yelling, "Eric!" when I entered the room. We would always talk about what songs he liked and occasionally he would invite me to sing with him in his toy microphone. I will never forget serving alongside Eric this summer.

At the end of the day as I said my goodbyes to our volunteer coordinator and community cookout singer, Margie Perez, I could not help but feel a desire to return to Arc one day to reconnect with Eric, Mike, and Peter and to see how Margie is doing. This site has been one of my favorite service sites to work at even though most of the work is just sorting recycled Mardi Gras beads. The work was pretty easy but, it was the relationships that made this site such an amazing one to go to. I will never forget seeing students dance to the Wobble as the worker Mike showed them how to. I will never forget quiet Peter who had a great heart but never said too much. And I will never forget the memories made at this amazing organization where we sorted around 3,000 pounds of beads per day.

******************

"Hey Tanner!" As I looked up a piece of cake hit the side of my face before I could process what happened. In the middle of our staff meeting Rebekah had taken a piece of birthday cake and shoved it in my face. This led to an all out cake war among our staff as we ran through the halls after each other during church group time. By the end of the fight our faces were covered in cake and there was frosting all over the ground. This was just one of the crazy, random things we would do at our late night staff meetings. We have grown so much over the past summer and it is hard to believe that our time together is coming to an end after next week. 

This line of thinking has put me in a contemplative mood all weekend. My thoughts have been wandering around concepts of community, longevity, and intentionality. This summer has shown me how important it is to invest into the community you are ministering in. It is not healthy to invest into people's lives only to leave shortly after. Now I am not saying that only living some place for a summer is a bad thing but, it has helped me transition to the mindset of finding a community to invest in for a while. I went into this summer with the idea that my ideal job would be being a nomad and traveling all over the world for a couple months at a time. Nothing is wrong with that idea but, this summer has shown me that my passions for youth, community, and development require commitment, longevity, and intentional community. As much as I have a love for traveling and wandering the world I need to find a community where I feel led to invest in. I do not want to always be saying "goodbye" to the Peytons, Erics, and YouthWorks teams in my life. 

******************

All of this talk of community has shown me how important it is to invest in the local community in which I live. This coming school year will be my senior year and I want to leave Mount Vernon knowing that I invested myself in that community. I have done a decent job of doing that on campus but, now my challenge for myself is to become more invested and involved in the local community of the town. I want to get involved with programs for lower income children. I want to get involved with programs like the Arc of Greater New Orleans. I want to find ways to help the homeless and be relational with them. I will commit to my community during this final year of school. It will be hard to let go and move on with my life at the end of this year but, I am ready to give this final year my all. I am ready to truly invest my senior year into the community as one of MVNU's Student Mentors. 

These are simply my thoughts on the ending of a summer in New Orleans and the need for community. 

Community on the 4th

11:30am-woke up. It was the first real sleep in day I've had in almost 2 months and it was July 4th. The day that fills me with so much conflicting emotions. I love living in the US and I know there is a lot of need here, but there is something about patriotism and nationalism that does not sit well with me. Yes, I know that is something I should work on...it would be good to be patriotic at least on the fourth. That's the mentality that I started my holiday with. For the first time in forever I was massively missing home and everyone was all busy doing their own patriotic festivities. I was not ready for an adventurous day, I was just wanting to sit home, drink coffee, and read all day.

Nevertheless, my team wanted to dress patriotic and go adventuring around town. For the sake of community I joined their festivities but, I was not that happy about it if we are being completely honest. Despite my disappointment that was the best decision that I could have made. 

After exploring the city we ended up at the French Quarter--which is so different to be at without students all around us. As we were walking along the Mississippi River we started hearing someone preaching the gospel. I immediately was turned off by what I was hearing because I am not a fan of that form of evangelism; luckily my team does a great job at keeping my attitude in check and reminding me that there are other great forms of evangelism than what I prefer. They had the idea of going up and listening to the message. We learned this group was called R.A.V.I.N. and that they had a church on Bourbin street which is exactly the kind of place that would need Christians at it. We got to talk with two of their members--Chloe and PT--which allowed us get to know more about their ministry and to pray with them. Because of my team I was able to get to know fellow Christians instead of judging their megaphone evangelism methods. They're still people, still need love, and are striving to build God's kingdom like I am.  

After this grand adventure we met up with one of the Episcopal youth groups from our previous week. We watched the fireworks and just hung out and spent time getting to know them. I learned so much about the teens, the Episcopal church, and youth ministry in general. It felt so humanizing to hang out with this group outside of work and get to know them all. It was exactly what I needed. They provided the community that I was yearning for on this 4th of July. 

After 2 hours of walking around the French Quarter and conversing with this amazing group, we departed from them to get Froyo and get to know each other more. As we walked down Canal street, around midnight, we took a journey down memory lane to our high school years. We grew closer as a team in the late hours of the night. My day of boredom was redeemed by community. Community is what we're made for.

A good reminder.

"You remind me of a guy I went to high school with!"

"Is it because I'm goth?" 

"No, it's just that your face that looks like his."

"Oh. Well I am goth and it's completely different from punk. We're like two different gangs. Punks are rude." This was my first interaction this week with the self-proclaiming goth freshmen who went by the pseudo name "Oliver." As our conversation continued we discussed his love of roleplay, manga, anything goth related, and how he really wanted to eat some beignets. After telling him that we go to the French Quarter on Monday the next thing I knew we were planning on getting beignets and cafe au lait together. He seemed to have a lot to talk about for being the guy who sat in a corner next to his quiet friend, who was engrossed in drawing a sci-fi looking ship. Out of 63 students--17 of them actually attend the youth group--I immediately spotted the loners in the mix. These guys seem to remind me of myself and my friends in high school. 

After leading Club that night we debriefed at staff meeting where I learned that Oliver was considered the "problem" teen and had already broken the strings on one of our guitars. That was when I knew God had led me in some way to talk with Oliver. Out of 63 people I felt like I could connect and get to know the one who was already causing trouble. Due to this knowledge I made it my priority to get to know him which led me to visit the service site he was attending today. 

At this service site they were split up with different age groups and asked to get to know the kids at the site. Oliver and his artist friend volunteered to work with the "high school group" which was 12-14 here; Oliver assured me it would be a good match for him. After a few minutes of checking on the other groups I went and checked on the high school group. Oliver was surrounded by a group of guys, had a huge smile on his face, and was sharing his story with them. 

As it turns out, Oliver has asbergers and told us that he's often negative and does not like people. However, he found his niche at this service site. He found he could share his story with the young kids there and that they could really relate. We learned that this troublesome youth has a lot to him and I am excited for the conversations we will have over beignets. 

Today I was reminded why I feel a call to work with teenagers. It's teens like Oliver who remind me of my passion. It's to the loners that I want to share the good news that they are loved and that they matter. I am thankful for Oliver coming into my life for this week to remind me that people still need to hear that hope and they still need to be able to share their stories. 

Will you tell your stories? 

Unity in the Spirit

When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability. Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven living in Jerusalem. And at this sound the crowd gathered and was bewildered, because each one heard them speaking in the native language of each. Amazed and astonished, they asked, “Are not all these who are speaking Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own native language? ...in our own languages we hear them speaking about God’s deeds of power.”All were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, “What does this mean?” But others sneered and said, “They are filled with new wine.” But Peter, standing with the eleven, raised his voice and addressed them, “Men of Judea and all who live in Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and listen to what I say. Indeed, these are not drunk, as you suppose, for it is only nine o’clock in the morning. No, this is what was spoken through the prophet Joel:

‘In the last days it will be, God declares,

that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh,

    and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,

and your young men shall see visions,

    and your old men shall dream dreams.

Even upon my slaves, both men and women,

    in those days I will pour out my Spirit;

        and they shall prophesy 

(New Revised Standard Version. Acts 2:1-8, 11B-18.)

"When there is unity God is present." These were the words preached on this past Pentecost Sunday at Grace Evangelical Lutheran church in the beautiful city of New Orleans. I have found that his sermon has really spoken true to the YouthWorks mission. 

Later that day three different groups of multiple denominations arrived at our church ready to serve together this week. From the first hour on site these groups did an excellent job at intermingling with one another and not differentiating between whose denomination was better. They were all getting to know each other and learning about who would be serving alongside them. It was unity that brought them together.

That night three of our team mates performed our first Youth Orientation of the summer and it was a success but, ended way too early. We had an hour to spare before our next activity so immediately we led them in multiple group activities. After about an hour we were able to start Club, our evening service. There were only minor mistakes and all were one's that were able to be fixed. It was unity of my team that allowed all to go well. 

This morning I rode off with an Evangelical Free and United Methodist church ready to serve at Arc Nola--a nonprofit that sorts and sells recycled Mardi Gras beads and provides jobs for the mentally disabled. It was a beautiful sight seeing the daughters and sons of God working together alongside the employees despite what their backgrounds and doctrines may have been. I was blessed to work alongside Eric and Peter, two of the employees with disabilities. I learned all about their lives and was even taught how to dance to the song Wobble. Everyone had their own part to play in the sorting and everyone used their abilities in various ways. It was unity that allowed this mundane job to be one that flourished. 

God's Spirit empowers us to work together in unity. Scripture says when two or more are gathered then God will be present. When we are willing to allow our diverse gifts to be used then the Spirit moves and we became aware of the Spirit's presence. I am learning we need to allow room for our daughters to prophecy. We need to allow room for our sons to prophecy. We need to build each other up as equal partners to be unified in our diversity. Our God is a God of Unity in Diversity and I am thankful of that.

These are simply my thoughts from the dust during this day after Pentecost Sunday in our first programmatic week of YouthWorks. I hope to periodically update how my summer is going and what the Lord is teaching me in that. May the words of my mouth and meditations of my life be pleasing to our Lord. 

My prayer is that God will continue to breathe His pneuma, ruach, spirit into us and empower us into unity. 

New Orleans: City of Culture and Food

"Ya'll need to try the beignet's and coffee."

This is the typical response we have received when we have asked locals what they would recommend for us to try as we attempt to navigate the culture of the beautiful city of New Orleans. My team and I--Janie Lynne, Rebekah, and Matt--all arrive here about a week ago after a week long training in Birmingham, AL. We had a 5 1/2 hour drive here where we focused on getting to know each other individually. Throughout our training week we were given times to get to know each other, however, we were also trying to get to know our area and others we had met that week. It was an interesting week of trying to find the balance of hanging out with my team from last year and getting to know this new team. I was finding that I often was comparing both teams subconsciously. As we drove through Alabama, Mississippi, and finally Louisiana I began the process of letting go of comparisons to allow myself a 'blank slate' summer. There are times where I will still compare but, for the most part I can tell that we are a very different team compared to last year. We are a great team with very similar and very diverse personalities. We all balance each other out and create a really good dynamic. I am ecstatic to grow closer to this team through the trials and adventures that await us.

We have spent this week preparing the church site for participants to arrive, exploring the city, and truly experiencing Southern Hospitality. We have attended BBQ's, dinners at local restaurants, and have even been invited over to houses that are over 150 years old! From very early on in the week we have seen the European influence here in New Orleans, especially how they view time. Everyone seems to be functioning on event time and are very relationship oriented. Another cultural element I have noticed is how big the food is here! There are all kinds of different foods here especially Cajun, Creole, and French foods. There is one delicacy that I have been especially fond of which is called a "po-boy" or "poor boy." A "po-boy" is like a  sub sandwich but you can order anything on it. New Orleans also has many different "snowball" stores that sell their own version of snow cones, however, you cannot ever call them 'snow cones' because "snow balls" are much better according to true New Orleans.

Other than experiencing the culture here we have been privileged with the opportunity to visit the Lower 9th Ward and Brad Pitt's "Make it Right Campaign." We were able to see the levee that broke during Hurricane Katrina and every Tuesday night I will be explaining to 60 plus teenagers how the "Make it Right Campaign" created gentrification in the Lower 9th Ward--the most impoverished area in New Orleans--and how even though Pitt had good intentions he did not necessarily help those who needed it most. It has been fascinating getting different perspectives from the locals on the effects of Katrina and even New Orleans pre-Katrina. I still have much to learn from New Orleans about all that happened and about the surrounding culture; I am excited to adventure farther into the summer with an open mind eager to learn.

These are my thoughts from week 1 in New Orleans--week 2 for YouthWorks this summer--and I am ready to see what God has in store for my team and I! Hopefully within the coming weeks I will be sharing about the stories that God writes with us. Here's to a great summer serving as missionaries in the beautiful city of New Orleans!

The Art of Stories.

Stories. Our lives are comprised of stories in and all around us. We are writing our own stories as those around us are writing their own. Often times our stories overlap with others stories. We should all learn to share our stories so that they can be used to impact others. I have developed a love for stories and storytelling.

Ever since I was a child I have wanted to write stories. Starting with my first journal I have always tried to write fiction stories but, I could never finish them. I have recently decided to start a second blog dedicated to posting these unfinished stories. Sometimes I will post stand alone stories that have no ending, sometimes I will post short stories that have endings, and other times I will post different parts of one story. My goal is to share these stories with the blogger world in a hope to inspire and encourage others to become storytellers. I also hope to learn ways that I can perfect my stories.

If you look on the right side of this blog, under the heading "Life is an adventure", you will see a link to my storytelling blog. It is entitled "Stories from the dust" for these are simply stories from a man who was made out of dust. You can also click on this link Stories from the Dust to view my other blog. I hope you enjoy the stories as they are posted.

Here's to the art of storytelling and using stories to inspire others! Here's to taking part in writing stories like our Creator, the Great Storyteller.

College Students do not need another book discussion group.

Heaven is for real but, another book study is not. I thought as I walked back from the book study that no one showed up to. It was our second night leading a discussion group on the book Heaven is for Real but, tonight not even our Pastor or my Co-leader came to participate. This has been my reoccurring thought since we were assigned this intern responsibility: College Students will not attend another book discussion group. 

At one of our recent intern meetings our Pastor presented us with the opportunity to lead this discussion group on this controversial book. The interns all felt skeptical about leading a group on this particular book but, we listened to the will of our Pastor and planned out who would lead what. The first night our Pastor went to the group which allowed the two interns leading to discuss the book with him. Tonight was the second night and no one came out for the discussion. As I returned to my apartment I thought through all the possible reasons why people would not have come out: they were too skeptical about the book, the promotion was lacking, or even that the week before finals week was one of the busiest and most stressful weeks of the semester.

As I analyzed this situation I realized why I was not passionate about this discussion group. It was not completely because of the book choice. It was not because of my busy week. It was simply the fact that college students do not need another book discussion group. We live in a busy world of overbooking where we are surrounded by textbooks and discussion groups. When we aren't studying or involved in an extra curricular activity, we are spending quality time with those we are closest to. College students, also known as millennials, do not need another book discussion group but, instead they need a place where they can simply be.

In our crazy, busy, hyper-connected world we are filled with different groups and events to be a part of. We do not need the Church providing more events and groups for us to join. We need the church to love us. We need the church to provide times where we can simply be in one another's presence. We need to be able to relax. We need to feel free to ask questions, explore answers, do fun things, and simply be. We need to experience God's love in the presence of one another so that we can be energized to go out and serve others. We can not give our best serving others if we do not stay energized. Book discussion groups won't always energize us. Simply being in the presence of God and others can.

These are just the thoughts from a drained, recovering chronic overbooker.

Malfunctions that create stories

There are many times in our lives where everything goes according to our plans. There are many other times in our lives where our plans turn into break downs, wrecks, and malfunctions. We go through our lives making plans and when all seems well something happens. This evening I was with a group of friends visiting my incredible girlfriend and as we were leaving we accidentally got the vehicle stuck in a ditch right outside her house. Fortunately we were able to call someone to tow us out quickly but, this was something that did not go according to plan.

This event brought to mind a time not too long ago when Brianna and I were leaving a nice Mexican dinner date and her vehicle spontaneously broke down. Or another time when we were driving her father's car back from Pennsylvania and the ignition died. This has led to an on going joke that I am bad luck for other people's vehicles. All of these events were unplanned but so accurately symbolize how life goes.

No matter what our plans are they cannot prevent wrecks, malfunctions, and break downs. Plans get changed, things come up, and where we thought our life would be three years ago may be drastically different now. We live in a world where "break downs" happen all around us and cause us to analyze how we are living our lives. Break downs do not have to be bad things but, they can be adventures that create stories to tell to others one day.

So here's to the malfunctions that make life more interesting and help us create inciting events and exciting stories.

Noah

This past weekend I was able to view the much anticipated and highly controversial movie Noah. I went into the movies with the expectations that there would be many artistic liberties because many of the Christian reviews I had read did not enjoy the movie. I was still rather excited to see an action-packed adaptation from Hollywood; after all it did cast Russell Crowe, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, and Anthony Hopkins. After walking out of the theater, I was very impressed and thoroughly enjoyed the movie.

Now I would like to address the big qualms that Christians have had with the film. There was an uproar that Aronofsky, self-proclaiming atheist, made the decision to have God be referred to as "The Creator" throughout the entire film. Though that is true, I found it to be more of an accurate understanding of what they may have called God (Although if Christians truly wanted accuracy in the name then it would not have been in English). I found that it was a beautiful way to view God because He, after all, is the Creator of all things and that would make sense that they would view God in that way. Another issue that was raised was that there was an Environmental agenda in the film. Now this is something that I would say was prevalent but, at the same time it did not take away from the overarching message of the movie. If we read Scripture we see that God does have a care for creation and was not going to destroy the World, just its' inhabitants. The movie showed how corrupt the world had become which we clearly read in Scripture was the case.

Another issue that was presented was the rock, Tolkenesque, creatures that helped Noah build the ark and fight off the tribe of Cain. These were considered the "Watchers" who were fallen angels who had tried to help humanity after the Fall. The only reference in Scripture that I could find to back this up for the story of Noah is from Genesis 4:15-16 which says, "Then the Lord said to him, “Not so!Whoever kills Cain will suffer a sevenfold vengeance.” And the Lord put a mark on Cain, so that no one who came upon him would kill him. Then Cain went away from the presence of the Lord, and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden" (New Revised Standard Version). I wonder if they took this Mark that the Lord had given Cain and turned it into these "Watchers." Either way it was one of the artistic liberties that they took and I find it to be okay because it does not take away from the overall message and ultimately their story shows that God is loving, merciful, and forgiving.  

The final issue that I have found people had with it is the way that Noah was portrayed throughout the entire film. As the movie progresses we see Noah as this passion driven, obedient, confused, and possibly crazy older man who believes that He must kill himself and his family to eradicate evil from the world. This is certainly not a concept we see in the Biblical Narrative but, nonetheless, it is an interesting concept to explore. One of my favorite aspects of the film was that Aronofsky was not afraid to make it intense, raw, and even show things that the Bible does not explicitly show. He showed Noah dealing with the conflict of why God would kill everyone except for His family. Even though He was obedient to the Creator, He wondered why they should not be killed for the wickedness inside of them. After the flood in Genesis 9:20-21 we read that "Noah, a man of the soil, was the first to plant a vineyard. He drank some of the wine and became drunk, and he lay uncovered in his tent" (NRSV). This could lead one to believe that Noah was dealing with a lot and still having this "wickedness" in him it would make sense that this confusion would lead him to drunkenness. 

Overall I felt that the movie beautifully showed God's care for both creation and humans (through the acts of Emma Watson's controversial character), God's promise to never destroy the earth again, and God bringing about the flood due to the wickedness of man. Though this film has many artistic liberties I find that it is a rather enjoyable film that really looks at how intense, raw, and thought provoking the time likely was. I am sure we can all agree the real Noah would not have been a happy-go-lucky guy knowing that his family were the only ones not dying below the water depths. There would have more than likely been an internal conflict that He had to deal with.

Noah turned out to be a very enjoyable movie just as a movie in and of itself. The artistic liberties added were an interesting interpretation and adaptation that made for a great story. Is it imperative that they got all of the facts right? No. Can it lead people to further investigate what Scripture says? Absolutely. Most movies that came from books lead many viewers to the original book. Does it show God's love and care? Yes, along with the confusion of man when dealing with matters of God.

I hope this gives you a reason to want to watch Noah because I would greatly encourage it. Don't listen to every negative thing you hear. Go out and watch the movie and then make your own decision. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OSaJE2rqxU 

Cascade Pichon, Haiti

"Play futbol? Futbol now?" our team was asked by the little boy by the name of Kento. "Not yet, we have to work but, we will play futbol at quatre." our leader responded showing Kento and his friend, Deff, her watch as the rest of us continued to lay bricks. Immediately Kento and Deff nodded and joined the rest of the children in helping us move bricks from one side of the construction side to the other  where they were needed. As I looked up from my work I saw the Haitian men, women, and children all working together as diverse equals to build this school to help further the education of their young. The phrase our translator told us that morning kept repeating itself in my head: The education of women in Haiti decreases the mortality rate by 80%.

This was day four of working towards building a school in the rural village of Cascade Pichon, where my team and I traveled to for our Spring Break. We had ventured out of the large town of Port-Au-Prince, traveled a seven hour trek up some of the roughest and most bumpy roads of mountains, and finally arrived in the little rural village surrounded by beauty. Every morning we would wake up, walk out of our tents, and witness the amazing view of mountains and waterfalls. We were treated with an incredible Haitian breakfast (typically noodles, rice and beans, or chicken/goat) every morning before taking our trek to the top of the hill where the school was located.

Working on building this school we witnessed an amazing work ethic among the Haitians that put all of us to shame. We helped lay bricks, carry sand from the holes they were digging, shoveling and mixing the cement they would make, and carrying bricks to where they were needed. We witnessed the Haitians creating bricks out of all natural elements with the exception of bags of cement that they would add to the concoction. All throughout the week Genesis 1 flowed through my mind. We were witnessing humans participating in being the image of God, of co-creating with God to build His Kingdom here.

Everyday when we would leave the work site and get cleaned up, we would go out to play with the children. Of course we would play many games of futbol (Soccer in English) in which the Haitians would always beat us. Whenever we weren't playing futbol, we were teaching them how to play games with frisbees, teaching them to thumb wrestle, tickling them, or helping teach them English as they taught us Creole. There was one particular student who seemed to have an extra fascination with learning the English and Spanish of every word that he could think of. By the end of the week we learned that this intelligent boy had a purpose he was striving for: he wanted to be a translator one day. This boy instead of spending all his time playing games was finding ways to achieve his dreams...and he was only 12. 

All of these kids-- Dyseon (Joshua in English), Bovina, Alex, Fresno, Deff, Kento, Maritha, CJ, and more-- have left a tremendous impact on me. I want to return to Cascade Pichon to learn what happens to them. I want them to be able to gain an education and go on to live out their dreams. Our translator, Bob, once told us "In America we work to make things perfect. In Haiti we work to make things possible." I want to make a good, well-rounded education possible for these children. Each one of these people are the future of Cascade Pichon and I pray for sustainability there and that they will develop into strong leaders.

Now I have been home for almost a week and it has been a hard transition. In Haiti life was one of simplicity and here immediately I am thrown back into the complexity and business of America. I had arrived home early on Monday morning and was immediately thrown into one of the busiest weeks of my semester. In Haiti I was making a difference that I could see. In Haiti I found purpose and excitement. But overall I miss that simplicity. I honestly miss not having a cell phone. I miss event time and focusing more on being relational.

My goal now for life is to take what I learned from Haiti and apply it here. I know this is not something that will happen overnight or something that I can do alone. I need God to be the one who sustains me. I need God to lead me and guide me. I cannot strive for this life of simplicity without God. It will take me time to change patterns and ways of thinking in my life, but I know I need to do it. I do not feel fully connected or that I have fully processed my trip right now. I do know, however, that I need to change this. I will change this with the help of God.

I was affirmed of a calling to work overseas one day long term while I was gone, but until then my prayer is that I will be able to learn to live simply and love others here in the States each and every day.

                                                           Bovina and her crew

                                              The kids and I at the Construction Site

                                                  Our village from atop the mountain

                                           The construction of the school by day 4

The Struggle of Overbooking

Since the beginning of my freshmen year of college I have struggled with habitually overbooking. When I stepped onto the University grounds I knew that I wanted to invest myself in as many ministry outlets as I could. As I have progressed through the years I have gained a good reputation which opened up more opportunities to become involved with. In the recent months I have known that I struggle with overbooking and I had made the decision to prayerfully commit to opportunities and drop ones that I feel would no longer be as beneficial to myself or my ministry.

As I am progressing through this Lenten season I have received many leadership opportunities for next year, which happens to be my senior year. Due to my fast I have found a significant amount of time that I can dedicate to thinking and praying and trying to determine what positions I should take. As I have been praying about this syndrome of overbooking I have simultaneously found that it is hard to determine which responsibilities to recommit to and which new ones to take.  

One of my goals of this Lenten season is to find an even balance of my time and learn how to discern which roles to take in the upcoming year. As I prepare to embark to Haiti for this next week my prayer is for a life of simplicity in my decisions. I pray that God would help me to get the most out of senior year without falling back into overbooking.

Here's to leadership positions. Here's to simplicity. Here's to missions.

My next thoughts from the dust will be on my trip to Haiti.  

Lent

Another year has brought us to the Lenten season. Fastnacht Day was come and gone and led us to the eventful day of Ashes. Now in day two people worldwide are struggling in the beginnings of their fast. Today I would like to ask, why do we give things up for Lent? Is it merely to impress others? Do we want to show that we can give something up? Does fasting intrigue us? Would we feel guilty if we did not give something up? Is it simply tradition? There are many reasons why we may give something up, but there is one reason that should actually matter. What is holding us back, what has become like an idol? Lent is a great time to refocus on who we were made to be. If you choose to give something up, you do not go and replace it with some other form of distraction, but you use that time to spend with God and your neighbor. You find ways to better yourself in your walk with Christ.

Wherever you are in your views on Lent, just remember each person is on a different journey; but we can still support one another in love as we strive to become better people for Christ. The item that I have given up has already, in day two, given me more "free time" that I am dedicating to studies and devotions with Christ. I hope to become more present with people, more present with Christ, and above all more loving. I would like to end with a poem written by John Wesley:

O grant that nothing in my soul 

May dwell, but Thy pure love alone!

O may Thy love possess me whole,

My joy, my treasure, and my crown.

Strange flames far from my heart remove!

My every act, word, thought be love. 

Convicted.

"Live simply!" "Be Communal!" "Be Present!" "Relationships are my thing!" "When discouraged, journal about it!"

These are just a few of the common statements I am known for making. Anyone who knows me can probably think of many times where one of these statements has been my mantra. I am known by close friends as an activist and by other friends as a loving, caring guy; but last night I was confronted with a very convicting realization. I have fallen away from my mantras. I was still daily speaking this dialect, but I was in no way living it out; at least not in the ways I felt I should. 

I began my journey of striving for a communal and relational life with journaling when I entered into college. From the beginning of my freshmen year I began disciplining myself to live a better life. I started journaling daily, donating clothes, saving money, buying less, and so on. As the years have progressed (it is now the latter half of my junior year) I have gradually become less present and less simple, while at the same time finding new ways to live simply. This past statement may sound confusing, but what I mean is I have done a much better job at looking at the products that I buy (Goodwill is one of my primary places to shop now), but I also have fallen out of the discipline of keeping a journal and I have begun spending more money on meaningless food that I do not need. I do not say all this to toot my own horn, but I say it to show where I have failed and fallen short.

It was at my weekly Haiti prep meeting that I had this conviction. I am preparing to embark on a week-long journey to Casade Pichon, Haiti with a small group from my school for our Spring break. There we will be working on a school they are building in order to educate and empower their children. As we were discussing preparations our leader reminded me how we will not have any electricity...at all. There were a few chuckles and people mentioned how we could build a fire and play cards together, but I immediately caught myself with a thought of fear. A thought of worry on what we would do without twitter or facebook for a week. It was in catching this thought that I realized I had a problem.

I had become so in tuned to social media and technology that I had neglected the company of those around me. I am not saying that technology is wrong, but without careful moderation it can destroy communities. After having this realization I did what most ENFP's would likely do, I asked close friends of mine about how I have been with technology. They agreed that I had massively fallen into letting it control my life and had even at times "chosen the technology over them." That is not the life that I am called to live. This is not the life that was intended for us when God put us in that Garden and said, "this is very good." 

To combat this fall into instant gratification and consumerism that has a grip on me, I have decided  to slowly limit my use of social media and completely give it up during this years season of Lent. I know often times people give things up for Lent and it does not help them, but my goal is to find better ways to glorify God with my time and technology. This could be through being more present with people, doing more devotions, journaling more often, using technology for beneficial reasons such as: homework, scheduling, and learning a new language (such as Basic Creole for my Haiti trip).  

I hope and pray that this fast will help me become a better advocate for simple living. I will still be utilizing my blog to update on how my fast is going and what I am learning about it. I have found that this blog has not distracted me too much from the life I am striving for so I will continue to use it. Here's to living more simply, being more communal, and in doing that simply being present. 

Why Small Groups are Important

Since the beginning of my journey in the Liberal Arts, I have been a part of many small groups. I have been a participant, co-leader, and leader of each of these groups and I have gained many beneficial experiences from these communities. A week ago I was asked to briefly speak in chapel on my experiences as a small group leader and at first I thought it would take awhile to decide what to say. When the day approached, I entered the stage, and spoke about the community, vulnerability, spiritual growth, and accountability that being a small group leader provides. I was not as confident in my explanation, but got many compliments on what I said.

A few days later I was meeting with one of my close friends and wondering how we first met. My friend was sharing his passions for forms of non-traditional ministry and I noticed a change since when we first met. As I was reflecting on this I realized we met because he was in my small group freshmen year. I remember entering that group meeting the first week of Freshmen year and thinking that this guy was pretty quiet and that we did not have anything in common. Now 2 1/2 years later we meet on a regular basis over tacos or coffee to discuss life. 

Upon realizing this I started contemplating how I grew close to many of my friends. I remembered the Bible study I had with a few friends freshmen year. I reflected on the many nights I joined in on the group that watched and discussed Rob Bell "Nooma" videos; our talks greatly contrasted those of the Bible study. I look back on my year in the Social Justice small group where I participated in many forms of activism and awareness. I think of the great friendships I developed through co-leading a group and then finally I thought of the group of transfer students I am leading this year.

I have learned many important things from being in a small group. I have grown in my faith and developed lasting relationships that I can be real with. The words that I spoke about in chapel a week ago were more honest than I first realized. Small groups are a great way to create an authentic community and provide accountability and lasting relationships with those that have similar interests. 

These are just thoughts from the dust on why you should be a part of a small group.

It's the time of Love.

Throughout our lives we are constantly striving towards success. This success may take on many forms, but it appears that we are often living for a goal in our lives to achieve. For some this goal is money, knowledge, amount of people helped, and so on. We live in a success-driven world where we feel we need to accomplish so many things. This success-driven mentality can transfer into our Christian walk as well. We all have our plans for living a fulfilled life. I have found that personally I am someone who has the strength known as positivity. I know this strength can be and is a beautiful asset, however it can also cause one to be a bit too idealistic. In this idealism I have found there are lists of goals that I want to pursue. I have developed many passions for knowledge and serving others to which I am constantly trying to find new ways to utilize them. As I strive to learn and apply this knowledge in this success-driven world, I have found that it is easy to succumb to overworking if you are not properly balanced. Today as I was reading Scripture, I stumbled upon a great wake up call for this lifestyle.

"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing." -1 Corinthians 13:1-3

No matter how good our intentions may be, every thing we do must be based in love. Success can only go so far. Success does not sustain us and did not create us. God is love and so in order to live the fulfilled life we desire, we must do all things in love. Although we celebrate love on February 14th, it is not something that should be kept exclusively on that day. The time of love is weekly, daily, hourly, and by the minute. The time of love is here and now. What we do in this world ultimately does not matter without love. Without a community to share it with.Without love we are machines.

These are just simple thoughts from the dust as we approach Hallmark/America's Commercialized Holiday known as "Valentines Day".