Sometimes we're called to Stay.

Hey, do you want to cancel our trip to KC? It was going to be a one day trip anyways and for ten hours that is hardly worth it.  These are the words that I texted to a travel companion at the beginning of this January Term break. Not even a year ago I would have been shocked to hear that my future self would turn down a chance to visit this exciting city, but I simply felt that the trip was not worth it. I had previously planned this excursion to be a Wednesday-Saturday trip, but I then got offered a job interview in the area that would delay us from leaving. Due to this interview--which is very important to me and will affect my post-grad plans--we would only really be in Kansas City for one day which gave me a weird gut feeling. I just did not feel right about going on the trip and so through much inner dialogue I decided to cancel the trip and invest my weekend in this local area.

This area that two years ago I felt I should invest in more. That my summer in New Orleans taught me I should invest in. This area that I am applying for jobs in, which is not something that I ever expected I would do when I enrolled in college. Sometimes we are led to very surprising places. Sometimes God places desires on our hearts that had it been a year before we would completely miss out on. Recently I have been feeling more and more of a pull towards living in this area and doing ministry here. This is weird because I was one who always wanted to travel the world and see new places--which I still do--and yet I am not being drawn to move anywhere at this present time.

Last weekend my fiance and I decided to go on a drive without picking a destination. We drove into the dark night not knowing where we would end up and after half an hour we ended up going back to her apartment. Sometimes in life that is what happens: we dive into the unknown future and end up where we already were. Sometimes we need to realize there is a need where we are and not everyone needs to pick up and leave to some far off foreign place. Sometimes missionaries are called to both leave and stay depending on what stage they are in life. Right now I feel as if I should stop leaving and stay for a bit. We'll see where that leads us.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. 

My date with the Episcopal church

Have you ever met someone who you knew you had to get to know and date? The more you got to know them the more you knew that you had to be more than friends with this special person who just happened to come into your life. Slowly as time wore on you began developing many expectations for this person and what your dating life would be and by the time that you had your first date planned you had already picked out the name of your first born child with this person. Then that fateful day happens when you go on this long-awaited date and...it blows. Nothing met your expectations and you realized that you had fallen in love with the idea of this person, but not the actual living, breathing, person. Has this ever happened to you?

It happened to me, not with a person, but rather a church; the Episcopal church to be exact. 

My tale begins my sophomore year at the University when I first began to hear about the Episcopal church and their theology. The more I learned the more I found myself agreeing with and the more I wanted to learn. I began researching their theology and even attending one of their prayer walks for Good Friday during my junior year in college. I had yet to actually attend one of their Sunday morning services, but I was increasingly impressed with their theology and how missional they tended to be. I then discovered that they help start and fund the local homeless shelter which made me respect them even more. Around this time I had been introduced to other High Church settings through the Lutherans and Catholics and fell in love with liturgy. Eventually I felt it would be time to finally check out an Episcopal service.

I anxiously walked towards the door next to my lovely fiance. She smiled at me handing me a piece of gum with a joke of, 'this is for if she--the church--kisses you.' This was how I knew that she approved of this first date with this lovely church. As I sat in and participated with the community in the service I started to feel as if I was cheating on my home church that I attend when I am at school. Over time I realized that I was greatly enjoying the liturgy and the message, but something did not feel right. The service was great, but I did not feel like I was at home. I realized I had fallen in love with the theology of the Episcopal church, but I missed the excitement and lively music from my own evangelical church. I enjoyed myself, but my expectations were not completely made and I realized that this type of service did not draw me in and was more of an occasional when I need a break from routine type of service. I realized that I was drawn to more of an evangelical feel and that it was okay for me to be. I do not have to follow the trend of millennials and just leave a church that does not seem to have everything figured out, because there is no such thing as a perfect church. 

So attending the Episcopal church was a good and growing experience for me; it was one that I needed. It showed me how much I value the church I currently attend and it showed me that just because I love a churches theology does not mean that I need to attend that denomination or would like all of their polity or the way they do their services. This is what I needed for my growth in Faith.

Lord, I pray for unity among all denominations that we would be able to learn from each other and share what we have with one another. Let us all live in love.

That was the tale of my date with the Episcopal church. I look forward to serving alongside the Episcopal church as my years in ministry continue.