Convicted.

"Live simply!" "Be Communal!" "Be Present!" "Relationships are my thing!" "When discouraged, journal about it!"

These are just a few of the common statements I am known for making. Anyone who knows me can probably think of many times where one of these statements has been my mantra. I am known by close friends as an activist and by other friends as a loving, caring guy; but last night I was confronted with a very convicting realization. I have fallen away from my mantras. I was still daily speaking this dialect, but I was in no way living it out; at least not in the ways I felt I should. 

I began my journey of striving for a communal and relational life with journaling when I entered into college. From the beginning of my freshmen year I began disciplining myself to live a better life. I started journaling daily, donating clothes, saving money, buying less, and so on. As the years have progressed (it is now the latter half of my junior year) I have gradually become less present and less simple, while at the same time finding new ways to live simply. This past statement may sound confusing, but what I mean is I have done a much better job at looking at the products that I buy (Goodwill is one of my primary places to shop now), but I also have fallen out of the discipline of keeping a journal and I have begun spending more money on meaningless food that I do not need. I do not say all this to toot my own horn, but I say it to show where I have failed and fallen short.

It was at my weekly Haiti prep meeting that I had this conviction. I am preparing to embark on a week-long journey to Casade Pichon, Haiti with a small group from my school for our Spring break. There we will be working on a school they are building in order to educate and empower their children. As we were discussing preparations our leader reminded me how we will not have any electricity...at all. There were a few chuckles and people mentioned how we could build a fire and play cards together, but I immediately caught myself with a thought of fear. A thought of worry on what we would do without twitter or facebook for a week. It was in catching this thought that I realized I had a problem.

I had become so in tuned to social media and technology that I had neglected the company of those around me. I am not saying that technology is wrong, but without careful moderation it can destroy communities. After having this realization I did what most ENFP's would likely do, I asked close friends of mine about how I have been with technology. They agreed that I had massively fallen into letting it control my life and had even at times "chosen the technology over them." That is not the life that I am called to live. This is not the life that was intended for us when God put us in that Garden and said, "this is very good." 

To combat this fall into instant gratification and consumerism that has a grip on me, I have decided  to slowly limit my use of social media and completely give it up during this years season of Lent. I know often times people give things up for Lent and it does not help them, but my goal is to find better ways to glorify God with my time and technology. This could be through being more present with people, doing more devotions, journaling more often, using technology for beneficial reasons such as: homework, scheduling, and learning a new language (such as Basic Creole for my Haiti trip).  

I hope and pray that this fast will help me become a better advocate for simple living. I will still be utilizing my blog to update on how my fast is going and what I am learning about it. I have found that this blog has not distracted me too much from the life I am striving for so I will continue to use it. Here's to living more simply, being more communal, and in doing that simply being present.