The Familiar: An unfamiliar book series

"Fantastic read. Couldn't put it down. An incredible book that ties together 9 or so different perspectives! It definitely shows how so much can happen in one day and how it can all be interconnected in ways we don't see right away. Parts of it were confusing, but it's the first of 27 books so in many ways its just chapter 1. It's definitely a new kind of narrative than I'm used to and very postmodern, but I'd recommend it; especially if you like House of Leaves. Also it made me want to rescue a cat."-The Familiar, One Rainy Day in May

These were my thoughts when I tore through the novel One Rainy Day in May by Mark Z. Danielewski. I had previously read his most popular novel, House of Leaves, and I needed more. I loved his style of writing so much I had to read more. I then read The Fifty Year Sword which was fantastic, but short. Once I picked up this book I knew I wasn't just getting myself into another novel to read, but in fact a whole new adventure through the pages. Naturally, finishing book 1 led me immediately to adopt a cat and then read book 2...

"Whoa. Ten times better than volume 1. I felt I better understood each of the characters and could see how they are slowly becoming connected. There was so much more to the plot in this one. I liked the first one, but I loved this one. Once again Xanther and her "little thing", her cat, is my favorite part of the story. Just seeing their "tail" progress kept me paging through the book. Read in a week and two days which is fast for me. The cliffhanger at the end definitely makes me want to jump into volume 3! Once again Danielewski doesn't disappoint. Highly recommend."

These were my thoughts for volume 2. It was incredible to begin to see how the characters were all connected. To see the relationship develop between 12 year Xanther, her new cat, and all the mysterious stuff that begins happening around them. Naturally it led me to anxiously await book 3 and thankfully I got into the series once it was already out. The cages of my mind were open and they were ready for more...

"Whoa. Best one yet and I loved the first 2 volumes! It was so intense especially the ending! My heart was pounding as I flipped through the pages of the ending. So good and it's making me love cats and other animals even more. Greatly recommend." Each novel ends with a story about an animal to go along with the tale. Oria the owl, Marvin the Markhor, and Lexi the polar bear. These three animals end each chapter, if you will, accompanied by the unnamed cat partner to Xanther and the many creatures who escape their cages when Xanther is near. These novels are slowly opening up a mystery, but there are many more questions left. There is a focus on animals and humanity's relationship with them.

This may seem like a scattered, bizarre review, however, much like the books which appear to the average person scattered and bizarre, there is a point: It is a fantastic, postmodern book series that I greatly recommend. "What's it about?" you ask, still confused based on my review: The best way to describe it so far, is its a 27 book series about a 12 year old girl who rescues a cat and develops an interesting bond with it. Still confused? Pick up a copy and start reading!

New Job? New Career? Thoughts on our callings.

What is a calling? What is vocation? What is our ultimate goal in our occupations?

These are the questions that have been rattling around in my brain since I have started my new job as SNAP-Ed Program Assistant of my county. I have gone from working for a church--doing practically everything besides the main pastoral duties--to teaching nutrition, healthy lifestyle choices, and shopping on a limited budget to individuals with limited resources. To many it seems like I have made a career change; many now ask if I plan to be a teacher or why I "left the ministry", but to everyone I simply say, "I don't know."

That, however, is not exactly the truth.

I do know...at least in part. I know my calling is to impact and develop people--that's part of the reason developer is one of my top 5 strengths. I know the more I focus on my county the more I feel drawn and possibly even called to it for now. I know that a calling can develop based on the choices that one makes. I know that a calling can change and adapt. All that to say, I believe you can change your occupation, but your career and/or calling stays the same. Yes, I am a health teacher in many ways now. Yes I teach budgeting as well. I do, however, do it for the development of individuals. I want to see holistic, well-rounded growth. I want communities to flourish and thrive and for a community to do so, the individual must first.

Will I be a SNAP-Ed P.A. forever? Likely not. Does that mean my calling has changed? No. My calling is to better peoples lives any way I can. To invest in my community--which I knew clearly was what I was called to do all through college and I felt very strongly in my blog post after I spent a summer in New Orleans (http://thoughtsfromdust.blogspot.com/2014/07/its-always-hard-to-say-goodbye.html). This calling that I had at the end of the summer translated itself into staying in my community after graduation, investing in it, and ultimately getting a job that works to teach and empower others so that the community, as a whole, can develop and become a better place to live.

So what is our vocation or our calling in life? To bring God's Kingdom here, in our local community, right where we live, with whatever skills and abilities we have been given to use. There is only one of us with our specific abilities: So let's stop trying to be someone else's calling, but focus on what we--and only we--can bring to the Table of the Kingdom of God here on Earth.

Transitions are hard

A few weeks ago I had this blog post (https://youthspecialties.com/blog/when-your-spouse-isnt-involved-in-your-ministry/) published on the Youth Specialties blog which was a big deal to me. I was very excited. Having a dream to write and having spent my first  year out of college working for a church I felt I was more than able to share these insights with the Youth Ministry Online Community.

I am now currently preparing to leave my first job out of college to begin a new one. This new job will be working with families in the community still,  but will not be in a traditional church. In fact my job will not be for an exclusively Christian organization. I will, however, be doing Community Development through education. Community development is something I went back and forth on throughout my years at college and I have always striven to do service with a community development mindset as a Youth and Children's Pastor.

This past week after submitting my letter of resignation at the church I have been reflecting on ones vocation, occupation, and how we live our lives. I have realized that even though I am starting a different job doing something that I love and feel led to do that doesn't mean I am done with "traditional ministry." This year along with starting a new job and potentially pursuing a masters my wife and I have accepted the volunteer role of coordinating our community garden. I also intend to still pursue ways to do ministry with children and youth within the community in the most appropriate way. I still want to accept preaching opportunities and I will of course find ways I can recruit for and promote YouthWorks. We are currently both involved in a House Church and as we navigate this new stage of life that is our church for now. Having these outlets and knowing they are available to me has been very beneficial for this time of preparing for transitions, however, it is still hard.

It is hard to see people both happy for you and sad to see you go. It is bittersweet to hear people's thoughts on how things will be once you are gone.  This past evening as I was walking in one of our local parks with my wife I realized how on edge this process is making me. I want to snap at my dog often and I want to just sit and cuddle with my cat. I want to drink lots of coffee and ramble excitedly to my wife. I am stressed, on edge, and frankly upset about leaving and yet I know that is the next step. I know I have made the right decision and yet it is still hard. It's also difficult to put into words why I am struggling with it.

Moral of the story: No matter the reason transitions are hard. Change can be a good thing and is not something one should be afraid of, but it's still hard.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven- Ecclesiastes 3:1

Ship of Theseus

Throughout the past month I have been reading through the book S. by Doug Dorst and J.J. Abrams. I was recommended this book by fans of another book I had recently finished entitled House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. Both of these novels are of the Postmodern genre which if I had to best describe I would label it as the "genre of experiencing a novel" more so than just reading it. Both of these novels have two very distinct ways of allowing the reader to be so immersed into the narrative that they are themselves experiencing it. House of Leaves does this by having two stories simultaneously going: one known as The Navidson Report which is a manuscript of a film and the other story found within the footnotes which tells the story of a guy who found the manuscript of The Navidson Report and in many ways how it has affected his life. I have given a more detailed review of House of Leaves on my good friend Phil's youtube channel which you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIiJA4NnVDo.

 S. however, takes a different approach to the narrative and really has three stories intertwined. It is also a book within a book. The first story is entitled Ship of Theseus and it is about a man who has no memory of who he is or used to be and where he is supposed to go. The second narrative is found throughout the novel in the footnotes which are by a woman named F.X. Caldeira. At first glance the footnotes seem to just be to aid the reader, but in further investigation it reveals they are coded letters to the author of the book Ship of Theseus whose name is V.M. Straka. Then the third story is in the margins of the book; this story tells the tale of Eric and Jen, two English lit majors who are writing back and forth in the novel (which reminds me of my own love story with the amazing woman who is now my wife) about the mystery behind the novel. These three narratives though may sound confusing or hard to track were excellent to read! I very much felt like I was reading a season of J.J. Abram's former show Lost. I could tell very quickly that this novel experience was also a love story of the narrative. A love story of all it takes to write, read, and invest your life into a story. 

As I read through the book I was also doing some research on it--because like I said, it is more of an experience to read it--and found the term Ship of Theseus to be a philosophical question/term. It is also known as the Theseus Paradox and asks the question that if a ship or object has slowly had all of its pieces completely removed and replaced is it still the same ship? This question has been modified and changed through the years, but the point is the same: If we, as humans, have changed completely through our physicality and experiences do we cease to be the person we were years ago?

It is a tough question and it matters. It's all about how much a person can change and if they change are they a different person or are they the same person with different motives? Is that the same thing?
My quick and current response is that they are the same person (or the same Ship), but transformed or renewed. This makes me think of the transformation of the caterpillar into a butterfly. It is completely different than it was when it was a caterpillar, but yet it is still the same insect as the butterfly. So I think it is not a matter of being someone or something different, but of being transformed and renewed.

But it is still a question I would like to ponder more: If we have changed completely from how we were years prior are we still the same person? Am I still the same Tanner as I was before I started at University? Overall I would greatly recommend S. to anyone especially those who enjoy mystery and solving puzzles.

A Culture of the Few

"I'm going to change the world!" "I plan to travel to _______ and make a difference there." 

These are two common phrases from Christians who graduate from High School or University. They are not always said, but often when they do they are referring to changing the world in a big grandiose way. This phrase has come to mean to many: go to some poor country and work towards fixing everything with them. There are many books on the proper way to do so as well. There is nothing wrong with people changing the world through radical, big acts such as becoming missionaries to a third world country or starting a coffee shop ministry. However, I have found that these phrases can be discouraging to those who feel called to stay where they are at. Who feel called to work within the mundane life in a small rural town. To those who feel called to simply live the Gospel out in their day to day lives. It is much harder to see the impact and growth out of those kinds of callings. Brad McKoy's new book A Culture of Few: Following Jesus Transforming Culture, however, gives hope to your every day "world changers."

I had the privilege of reading an advanced copy of his book and I found it to be a perfect companion to The Shaping of Things to Come by Alan Hirsch and Michael Frost. The book is filled with applicable examples of how to be a world changer in ways that one might not first expect and/or plan on. It is an encouragement to those who are not called to head to some far off, exotic location, but to those who are called to live a simple life for the Gospel. McKoy explores 5 I's in understanding what our focus must be in becoming a culture of the few. In following in the way of Jesus and His culture of few, he looks at our need for finding our Identity, Invitation, Intentionality, Intercession, and Intimacy with God.

 He talks of many who try radical and fast-producing ways to change the world and often find themselves burnt out and ready to quit. McKoy shares that, "One of the most important things that every would-be world-changer needs to know is that God’s plan is not for you to be poured out and empty"(170) and that "The hope for cultural transformation does not come from us reaching our potential or making names for ourselves. It doesn’t come from getting credit for something good or for coming up with a clever strategy. The hope for cultural transformation comes from the lives of courageous people who carry transformation inside of them, allowing their lives to spill over on others"(198) He also shows that the Kingdom of God is slow moving, but once we know that we do not have to do everything ourselves in every possible situation and learn that we are called to do what we see the Father doing it reminds us to refocus our lives. It reminds us to start with our Identity as adopted children of God and embrace the sonship/daughtership as we work towards the Kingdom. 

Overall, I felt this book was a reminder of the question, "What could God do with a few people committed to live a focused life in the midst of the crowd?" and McKoy answers it with the reminder that "The direction of the masses is typically shaped by the relative few. Influence in the hands of a handful can change the course of history, for better or for worse” (pg. 18). So we do not need large numbers and crazy, radical events to change the world. We just need a culture of few who are committed to knowing their identity, having an attitude of invitation, being intentional, and becoming people who are not only intercessors, but who have an intimacy with God. This is our reminder to stop wishing we could do something big and crazy like some other world changer we know, but instead focus on the ways that we can impact those around us and follow the idea that it only takes a few to leave an impact. Stop making excuses, stop trying to find the perfect organization, but instead do what God is calling you to do, right now, where you are at for the Kingdom. I would greatly recommend this book to anyone, but not as a church planting or discipleship model, but as a way to live life for the Kingdom no matter where you are at.

Moving Beyond the Books

"Just follow my lead" Brianna suggested as she began digging small holes for our tomato plants this past evening. I eagerly kicked off my flip-flops, felt God's cool creation beneath my feet, sat down next to my lovely and adventurous wife, and followed her example in planting our new garden. Being a first time gardener I had to learn everything from Brianna who has yet again helped me move beyond the books.

You see, I have often read about gardening, written about the simplicity and interconnectedness of community gardening, and even helped others with their garden: but I have never had one of my own. Following the suggestion of Brianna and her constant reminders to apply, we each got a plot in one of our town's local community gardens. At the end of a long day when we were both exhausted from long days at work, we discovered that our garden plots had finally been roto-tilled and we could begin our first step in planting! Despite our every desire to just curl up and watch another episode of Downton Abbey (much like an old married couple, I suppose) we gathered our supplies and headed over to our plots.

As I began digging in the soil, giving plants a home, and constantly refilling our watering pot I could not help, but feel rejuvenated, at peace, and filled with a new found energy. This simple act of working the soil and making sure that everything was spaced out enough was surprisingly relaxing to both my body and my soul. It was a reminder that I need not just live my life in books--as great as books are--but that I need to experience life too; this discovery has been one of the many facts that I love about my relationship with Brianna. She doesn't allow me to simply dream. She hears my dreams and refuses to keep them as such. Instead she sits down with me and helps me brainstorm and plan how we, as a team, can make this dream a reality.

Life is a like a garden. There are so many options of plans we can plant. So many approaches we can take to how we care for the soil we are given. But if we are always reading and dreaming about what we will plant or how we will plant it then nothing will ever grow. We need to find people who will dream with us and challenge us to go beyond the books and the dreaming. To get down to the earth, get your bare feet and hands dirty, and start working in the soil. If we want to change the world, if we want to even leave an impact then we must start digging.

Don't just look, but observe.

The light leaked in through the window and my eyes burst open before my alarm went off. I was nervous, but ready for the day. Disappointed that I beat my alarm, but I knew it was time to start getting up. Nevertheless, as anyone who is not used to getting up at the break of light, I waited until I officially heard my alarm before I soggily put on clothing and found my source of energy: coffee. It is not often that I find myself waking before 7 AM, but today I had a mission: I was asked to share a devotional at a club at the local High School. I was ready, but still awakening.

As I journeyed home after a successful time of sharing I began to notice the particulars of the trees I passed, the dents and scratches on cars, and the way that the traffic lights slowly wobbled up and down. As I pulled into my parking lot I noticed the door that I so often enter and leave. I have seen it every day since Brianna moved in a year before we married. It has always just been a door to me, but

today I really noticed it. I observed the paint streaks on the door, the shutters on either side of the door, the curved brick above our apartment number. I watched the walkway leading up to the door imagining all those humans, myself included, who have walked that path seeking refuge, seeking warmth, and seeking their belonging. I thought of the creatures that have walked along that entrance: the dogs that lived inside, the worms after a nice rain, and all the little bugs that are too small for the average person to observe in following their busy schedules.

How often do we truly look and observe our every day surroundings? What places and things do we see every day, but not truly see. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary to look means "to direct your eyes in a particular direction or to seem to be something especially because of appearance" and the word observe means, "to watch and sometimes also listen to (someone or something) carefully or to see and notice (someone or something)" How often do we look, but not observe?

What stories are we missing daily because we merely look at things and don't observe? What stories would the door bring us? Learning those it sees each day and those it hears each day. The door has a story to tell. What about the walkway to the door? It is used to being walked all over, what stories does it bring to the table? Let us stop rushing through life without observing all that is around us. Let us look at the good gifts that God has led us to and really get to know them.

I would like to end with the words from one of my favorite books, Fahrenheit 451, “Have you ever watched the jet cars race on the boulevard?...I sometimes think drivers don’t know what grass is, or flowers, because they never see them slowly...If you showed a driver a green blur, Oh yes! He'd say, that’s grass! A pink blur! That’s a rose garden! White blurs are houses. Brown blurs are cows” (Ray Bradbury). How often are we like this even when we aren't in cars? We just race through life and don't really look at the grass, the flowers, or even the doors of our home. We take life for granted. How much better and more fulfilling would life be if we stopped, observed, and truly were present?