Sometimes we just need to do something Vulnerable.

Resurrection Sunday. Easter. The day celebrating that Christ rose from the dead! The day where a few women went down to the tomb, burial spices in hands, and ended the day as the first evangelists: telling others that Jesus Christ had risen from the dead. The end of our waiting has begun. The Kingdom has begun and yet is still coming.

It was an excellent day for me today because not only was I excited to celebrate the risen Savior, but I was celebrating by breaking my 40 day fast of meat. It was a great 40 days of contemplation, solidarity with vegetarians, and reflection. I felt I had grown to rely on God more and even to appreciate what I ate more. It was also during these 40 days that I have applied and searched for many jobs. It was during these days that I have felt stress and worry about finding a place of employment for after graduation. It was during this time that I focused on relying more on God than on my own skills and abilities. Or so I told myself I was doing. There were times when it was difficult. There were times when I felt if I just did the right thing I would get myself the perfect job. Even though in theory I was trusting wholly in God, these 40 days have been a process of learning how to seek first His Kingdom.

As I participated in the festivities of Holy Week I also prayed and brainstormed with my lovely fiance on job options. There have been places that have contacted me and places that I have felt led more too, but had not yet heard much from them. Then tonight Brianna surprised me with a suggestion that was out of the ordinary for us.

She brought out our Easter "Advent" Wreath she had made and suggested we turn off the lights and light the candles, but as we lit each candle we would pray for something different. Our prayers were all on different topics, but all focused on the uncertainty of the future and allowing God to lead. When we got to the middle candle, we took turns praying back and forth as if we were having a three way conversation with God. Then we danced. We celebrated and rejoiced in the unknown. We were vulnerable, we opened ourselves up, and we said, "Hey God...here were are, trying something completely new, ready to see where you will lead." We tried something that seemed weird to us and completely trusted in God. Now neither of us are mystics or people who think following some ritual to the tea will get you answers or solve all of your problems; but we are both advocates for being vulnerable and relational. We both realized that if we truly wanted God to lead and guide our relationship we needed to be fully open with God. After this action of vulnerability and trust I received an email about a potential job I had been leaning towards and feeling very strongly about.

This act may or may not lead us to God's will. It's not magic or a formula. It was a reminder that we need to be open, vulnerable, and willing to do crazy things for God. We're ready to serve and work where God desires for us to be.

The Struggle of Overbooking

Since the beginning of my freshmen year of college I have struggled with habitually overbooking. When I stepped onto the University grounds I knew that I wanted to invest myself in as many ministry outlets as I could. As I have progressed through the years I have gained a good reputation which opened up more opportunities to become involved with. In the recent months I have known that I struggle with overbooking and I had made the decision to prayerfully commit to opportunities and drop ones that I feel would no longer be as beneficial to myself or my ministry.

As I am progressing through this Lenten season I have received many leadership opportunities for next year, which happens to be my senior year. Due to my fast I have found a significant amount of time that I can dedicate to thinking and praying and trying to determine what positions I should take. As I have been praying about this syndrome of overbooking I have simultaneously found that it is hard to determine which responsibilities to recommit to and which new ones to take.  

One of my goals of this Lenten season is to find an even balance of my time and learn how to discern which roles to take in the upcoming year. As I prepare to embark to Haiti for this next week my prayer is for a life of simplicity in my decisions. I pray that God would help me to get the most out of senior year without falling back into overbooking.

Here's to leadership positions. Here's to simplicity. Here's to missions.

My next thoughts from the dust will be on my trip to Haiti.