Word of the year: Family

A new year.

Another blog post to kick off the new year.

To begin this new year I decided to follow the social media trend of choosing a word of the year.

The point of this is to focus on this word throughout the year as one embarks on adventures each week. This word can be used as a motivator, a descriptor, a resolution, or even just a reminder of ones hopes for the year. When one gets discouraged they can focus on their word. When you don't know what to do next consult your word. This is one--of many ways--to try and live with intentionality in the beginning of this year. Choosing a word helps you explore new ideas and experiences in the world around you!

My word for 2018 is: Family.



My goal for 2018 is to analyze and explore the word "Family." What makes someone family? What are ones obligations to their "family"? How can we best be a member of a "family"? These are but a few questions that I am beginning my new years quest with. As the year progresses more questions may arise as well. I'll start, like most people do, with one of the Merriam-Webster's definitions of family: "a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation"

What's your #WordOfTheYear?

Love

Hope.

Peace.

Love.

Week three of the Advent season is all about love. What a fitting theme for such a time as this. There are so many issues and catastrophes around us today, but we can never have enough love. We can never be reminded of love enough. We need more love in this world and in our lives.

And yet I feel as if that word gets tossed around so flippantly. People us it as a means for control. People put stipulations on it. People make it conditional. They lose it's meaning.

But the Love of YHWH is unconditional and it never fails.

When we're caught in the web of the most often asked question: how do we love properly without condoning certain practices? My response is: if you have to ask then are you actually loving? 

Yes we can't condone every action out there. Yes there are dehumanizing things that individuals do. Is love condoning something? Or is love simply loving them regardless? Loving them as a human, as an individual, for who they are not who they could become.

When I think of love I think of the Old Testament reading for this week which comes from Isaiah 61:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
Because the Lord has anointed me;
He has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed,
To bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And release to the prisoners, 
To proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, 
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn;
To provide for those who mourn in Zion--
To give them a garland instead of ashes,
The oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, 
The planting of the Lord,
To display his glory.

They shall build up the ancient ruins,
They shall raise up the former devastations;
They shall repair the ruined cities, 
The devastations of many generations.
Strangers shall stand and feed your flocks, 
Foreigners shall till your land and dress your vines;

But you shall be called priests of the Lord,
You shall be named ministers of our God;
You shall enjoy the wealth of the nations, 
And in their riches you shall glory.

Because their shame was double,
And dishonor was proclaimed as their lot,
Therefore they shall possess a double portion;
Everlasting Joy shall be theirs.
For I the Lord love justice,
I hate robbery and wrongdoing;
I will faithfully give them their recompense,
and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.

Their descendants shall be known among the nations,
And their offspring among the peoples;
All who see them shall acknowledge that 
They are a people whom the Lord has blessed.

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
My whole being shall exult in my God;
For he has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
And as a bride adorns herself with jewels.
For as the earth brings forth its shoots,
And as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring up,
So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise
To spring up before all nations.

(Isaiah 61:1-11, NRSV, Italicize and Bold added for emphasis).

What's in a name?

What's in a name? The question that the great Romeo Montague asks in Shakespeare's tragic tale.

A lot is in a name.

Names have power. Names give meaning. Names turn the generalized into specifics.

There's a reason why we give names to babies. There's a reason why in some Christian traditions when a child is baptized they are also christened and given a "Christian Name." Names give us an intimacy that generalizations cannot.

It is easy to hate a group or a stereotype. It is easy to look at a large general group and come up with opinions against them. With groups it is very easy to create an us verses them barrier. It is easy to build walls.

But names change that. In the words of my beloved partner, Brianna Cooper-Risser,"When we place names on the generalization it may not change our opinion, but it at least makes us feel uncomfortable." it shows us that "life is complicated". How many times have you heard a story where someone shares their disdain for a group of people and then they meet someone who happens to fall into that category and it completely changes their mind on the matter? You know what I am talking about. I don't even need to give a specific example for memories to come flooding to your mind.

When we give something a name it changes things. The same goes to barriers in our life. When we name what is holding us back we can come up with a solution much easier. Giving a name to our problems is the first step in overcoming them.

So, do names matter? Absolutely. Names are what differentiates me from just another heterosexual white male. Names are what remind us that each person has a unique story that has brought them to where they are today. And sometimes, some people, need a new name to remind them that their story does not always need to stay the same. Our names are part of what makes us human.

So the next time you make a general statement about a group of people first ask yourself: Do I know anyone in that group? How well do I know them? What is their name? And what is their story?

************

Resources:

1. http://www.theliturgists.com/podcast/2017/8/15/names 

2. https://robbell.podbean.com/e/we-are-the-committee/ 

Here I raise my Ebenezer

"The Apostle's Creed cleans up everything the Pastor messes up."

This past Sunday in our third week discussing the Apostle's Creed this line stood out to me above the others in the sermon we heard. It made sense to me. It reminded me of the fact that no one in that room was flawless. No one had it all together, not even our great Pastor. So many people get this idea that we are called to look up to our Pastor, as our head, and do what he says, but our Pastor is like us. We, as Christians, are called into the priesthood of all believers. We are called to journey with our Pastor--who has been trained to equip us--as we do what God has called us to: To be his disciples. That's why I love liturgy, or the Work of the People, because it reminds us that worship is not all about songs we are led in or the Sermon we hear. It is so much more than that, but it involves active participation and involvement. It is about us, together, worshiping this one we call Savior.

I found this to be a fitting way to begin a sermon that was looking at the second part of the Apostle's Creed: The part about Jesus. He talked about how the Apostle's Creed connects us to what the first Apostles would have touched and experience during their time with Jesus. It in many ways connects us to Jesus and it is a constant reminder that what we, as a congregation, as Christians for centuries have believed is not made up. This is us as a body recounting historical events because we have a historic faith.

I love how our Pastor ended the sermon by talking about how we need to share our Ebenezer's--the ways that God has helped us and shown his love for us. It was a reminder that as the first Disciples shared their experiences with Jesus, as our Gospel writers recorded the love and time that Jesus invested in them we are called to share our experiences. God shows us His love in countless ways so that we could share that with others, not so that we could hoard it to ourselves.

Recounting the sermon later that night, I challenged the youth group with the same question. I asked them both how they have seen God this past week and ways that they would like to see God. As is typical many of them were quiet and did not appear to have answers. Now I acknowledge that much of this silence is due to teenage shyness and fear of humiliation. I myself was one of those teenagers who did not like to be the first or last to share my thoughts. But, I wonder how much of that response rings true to many of us? How many of us would be willing to share how God has shown us His love this week? How many of us would dare to share how we hope God shows his love this week. It would be foolish to try and act like we do not have our own expectations and hopes for Jesus. If we see Jesus work within our lives and the lives of others why does it seem so hard to share it? Why does it seem so easy for some people to share and not for others? Is it merely a personality difference or is it our understanding of why we received this love? How can we, as Christians, this Lenten season get better at sharing our experiences with the larger body?

Simplicity

Simplicity.

Some want it. Some hate it. Few have it.

What is it? Is it having a product that combines three of your commonly used items into one device that costs you fortune? Is it getting rid of everything that is unnecessary? Is it a daily life of purging and feeling guilty any time you buy something new? Is it really even about the stuff you own? What is the point of this complex word we called simplicity? Ironic, is it not?

Since my freshmen year of college--and likely since before then in little ways--I have had a fascination with this concept of simplicity. This fascination really began to take root through my ongoing love of community. I found that the more that simplicity was embraced the more community was able to thrive. But what does that mean? Can you have community and also not live a life of simplicity? Yes, but I wonder if we miss out on something. It was Mahatma Gandhi who once said, "Live simply, so that others may simply live." How can we apply this to our lives today?

I recognize that I am writing this as someone who has input in my top strengths. If you are unaware with the Strength Finders 2.0 having input as a top strength simply means that: "You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information -- words, facts, books, and quotations -- or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity."1 This strength is very evident as I like to collect books (I have far too many to count), mugs, and old keepsakes. So then, how does one claim to strive towards simplicity when they also tend to have input as a top strength? It is all about understanding simplicity.

Simplicity is put simply an inward discipline with outward lifestyle results. It is a freedom that is found internally which will liberate us in our lives. Richard Foster tells us that when we experience simplicity our speech becomes honest and true, we are freed from a lust for status and position, we cease from showy extravagance out of principle, and our goods become available to others. We lack simplicity when we lack a Divine center or when we feel a lack of security. It is this lack of security and belonging that can lead someone to gain an insane attachment to things.

Simplicity is not about getting rid of everything--although as we heard Jesus' command to the rich young ruler, sometimes that is what is needed to be done. Simplicity, very much like the discipline of fasting, is one that reorients ourselves so that possessions can be rightly enjoyed without destroying us. Most items we own are not inherently bad, but it is all about whether or not they control our lives. If you feel like you could not live without something then maybe it is time to let that go.

The point is not to create legalism on "How much is too much?" or "I have more stuff so I must not be simple enough." No. The point is to seek first the Kingdom of God. When we put the Kingdom of God first in all that we do then everything else will come into place. Ecological concerns, the poor, equal distribution of wealth, and many other things that God cares about will be given their proper attention.

In the end, this inward reality of simplicity is a life of joyful unconcern for possessions. It is a life of putting people above possessions and not accepting society's love of instant gratification. So let us embrace simplicity, not worry about life, trust God, and give what we have to others because God has given it to us to begin with.

If you are a list person (like myself) here is a list of outward signs of simplicity that I found from Richard Foster's book Celebration of Discipline.

• Buy things for usefulness instead of status
•  Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you. 
•  Develop a habit of giving things away
•  Refuse to be propagandized by the custodians of modern gadgets
•  Learn to enjoy things without owning them
•  Develop a deeper appreciation for creation
•  Look with a healthy skepticism at “buy now, pay later” schemes
•  Obey Jesus’ instructions on plain, honest speech: Yes be yes, and no be no
•  Reject anything that breeds the oppression of others
•  Shun anything that distracts you from seeking God’s kingdom first

1. http://www.gallup.com/businessjournal/688/Input.aspx 
2. I also referenced Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster and Soul Feast by Marjorie Thompson 

To Write Love on Her Arms

To Write Love On Her Arms. The name of an incredible organization. The words for a hurting generation. The name of a based-on-true-events movie. A movement of redemption, recovery, and celebration.

Tonight I had the awesome opportunity to invite friends into my soon-to-be apartment and watch the new movie To Write Love on Her Arms which tells the true story of Renee Yohe and the 5 days before entering into Rehab that she spent with Jamie Tworkowski who would then publish her story and start this non-profit. To Write Love on her arms has become a nonprofit which aims to present hope for people struggling with addiction, depression, self-injury and thoughts of suicide while also investing directly into treatment and recovery (twloha.com). This movie tells that tale and for a Hollywood film I felt it was really well done.

I felt it helped to raise awareness of the hidden struggles that are not typically "socially acceptable" to discuss. It showed that recovery is possible, but that rehab does not completely fix everything. This film also captured the beautiful fact that recovery for any problem is not possible alone. This is just another affirmation that we are not meant to be alone in life. The movie showed that it was through mentoring and being surrounded by people that cared about her which brought Renee to recovery.

This movie is an excellent example of our dire need for discipleship. That word is often thrown around in church settings and there are countless books on how to disciple and 5 step formulas on discipling others. It is thrown around, but the sad truth is it does not always happen. Often times many places assume that if we get someone to enter into recovery, if we get someone to say a simple prayer, to follow a simple set of rules, or if we get someone to admit they have a problem that Jesus will fix everything from there and that is where we stop. The thing is that is where we should be beginning. The Great Commission calls Christians to go and make disciples. It does not say to go and fix people, but it says to go and disciple people. The problem with discipleship is, like Dietrich Bonhoeffer tells us, it costs us. It's messy. It's not easy.

Discipleship is what is shown in this beautiful true story of recovery. Discipleship is when Renee's friends let her live with them during the 5 days she has to get clean because the rehab center denied her entrance until then. Discipleship is the one on one time that she had with Tworkowski and Mckenna where they taught her ways to kick her addictions. When they shared with her practices on what to do when it gets hard. Discipleship was then returned at the conclusion of the film when SPOILER ALERT Mckenna relapses and Renee finds him and reminds him of how he helped her.

In an interview with Jamie Tworkowski he says that he wants people to watch the movie and see that it is, "a story about broken people loving broken people. It's about friends trying to be friends in the midst of their pain." He then goes on to explain that in his opinion, "a good story is not one that impresses you. It's one that brings you back to the story that you are living and the stories that you're connected to--and to think differently about those things." This is discipleship. We do not have to be perfect to disciple others. We do have to be present with them in the midst of their troubles. To celebrate their victories and mourn with them in their relapses.

The movie is pretty dark and realistic, but only touches the surface of what many people deal with and struggle with everyday. It shows the hardships of addiction and self-hate as well as showing that rehab does not completely fix everything. It's all about discipleship. It's all about community. It's all about living life with people not just in the happy-go-lucky parts, but in the messy, crazy, unplanned and unscheduled parts.

So let us take time to really get to know people. To disciple people. To give hope to people. To write love on her arms.

Be the Change in Your Community.

Since the very first "Bible Lesson" that I wrote myself I have found that I am passionate about the verse Matthew 25:40 and in a larger spectrum I am most drawn to passages of Scripture that proclaim good news to the poor, oppressed, marginalized, etc. It is this very reason that I am drawn to books such as When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert and Steve Corbett, The Hole in the Gospel by Richard Stearns, and A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans to name a few. This is also why I am so often drawn to liberation theology and firmly believe that as those who claim to follow the Resurrected Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we have a duty to love and serve the marginalized, poor, least of these, etc. It is not merely something good we might do, nor a legalistic set of rules, but it is how we live out this lifestyle of the Kingdom. There is so much disunity, dysfunction, and brokenness on this side of the Kingdom and so that alone shows the need for the Body of Christ to bring change in the world.

I bring up all of this because I have found that there are certain causes that people say everyone needs to contribute and be main advocates for. I have often been told that if I truly believed in Matthew 25:40--which I hope I do since I have it tattooed on my wrist--then I needed to put most of my focus on advocating and speaking up for this one certain group. You fill in the blank. Sometimes I wonder if helping the least of these has been used to guilt people into supporting certain causes or advocate for certain groups.

I am not saying that those people are wrong or that those certain groups do not need help and advocacy, but what I want to argue is that not everyone is called to every single group. Some people may feel led to work with promoting a pro-life from birth to death mentality, some may feel led to work with the homeless, some may feel led to work with those marginalized in the LGBTQ community, some may feel led to adopt, some may feel led to foster, and some may feel led to work with providing education to third world countries. All of these are groups and settings that we should support and be in favor of, however, I would say that people should choose where they are being led to put their focus.

In our overbooked, over-scheduled life we cannot take part in every cause and we cannot fully devote ourselves to every marginalized group. I believe that we should always be standing with the marginalized in whatever context we are living/working and that we should focus on ministering to those specifically in our context. It is also important to know where, with the help of the Spirit, we can be most effective with the skills and gifts that God has equipped us with. Instead of trying to tackle every social issue out there, we need to pick the ones we have been equipped to work with and encourage those who are called to other issues to pursue those.

As the Body of Christ we need to follow the pattern of Jesus when He said,

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,

    because he has anointed me

        to bring good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives

    and recovery of sight to the blind,

        to let the oppressed go free,

 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor” 

(Luke 4:18-19 NRSV) 

We should be striving to share the good news of liberation from oppression that Jesus provides. We should be striving for a holistic understanding of transformation that cares about each person's physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. We need to proclaim this good news to those who are marginalized in our context. We need to use the gifts that we have been given to impact our communities. 

So who are you called to minister and serve? Who needs liberation in your community? What has God given you a passion for? Homelessness? Human Trafficking? Gender Inequality? LGBTQ issues? Abortion? AIDS/HIV? Orphans? Lack of education? World Hunger? Thirst? Whatever it may be, what it is that breaks your heart...go after it. 

Let's stop getting overwhelmed by all the issues in the world and thinking there is not a change we can make. Let's instead act on what we can, live out our passions, focus on the change we can make in our own communities, and advocate for the issues we have been given a passion for, while empowering others to advocate for the issues they feel led to stop.

If we work together, as the Body of Christ, with all of our different passions and gifts, we can truly make a difference and help usher in the Kingdom. 

Sometimes we just need to do something Vulnerable.

Resurrection Sunday. Easter. The day celebrating that Christ rose from the dead! The day where a few women went down to the tomb, burial spices in hands, and ended the day as the first evangelists: telling others that Jesus Christ had risen from the dead. The end of our waiting has begun. The Kingdom has begun and yet is still coming.

It was an excellent day for me today because not only was I excited to celebrate the risen Savior, but I was celebrating by breaking my 40 day fast of meat. It was a great 40 days of contemplation, solidarity with vegetarians, and reflection. I felt I had grown to rely on God more and even to appreciate what I ate more. It was also during these 40 days that I have applied and searched for many jobs. It was during these days that I have felt stress and worry about finding a place of employment for after graduation. It was during this time that I focused on relying more on God than on my own skills and abilities. Or so I told myself I was doing. There were times when it was difficult. There were times when I felt if I just did the right thing I would get myself the perfect job. Even though in theory I was trusting wholly in God, these 40 days have been a process of learning how to seek first His Kingdom.

As I participated in the festivities of Holy Week I also prayed and brainstormed with my lovely fiance on job options. There have been places that have contacted me and places that I have felt led more too, but had not yet heard much from them. Then tonight Brianna surprised me with a suggestion that was out of the ordinary for us.

She brought out our Easter "Advent" Wreath she had made and suggested we turn off the lights and light the candles, but as we lit each candle we would pray for something different. Our prayers were all on different topics, but all focused on the uncertainty of the future and allowing God to lead. When we got to the middle candle, we took turns praying back and forth as if we were having a three way conversation with God. Then we danced. We celebrated and rejoiced in the unknown. We were vulnerable, we opened ourselves up, and we said, "Hey God...here were are, trying something completely new, ready to see where you will lead." We tried something that seemed weird to us and completely trusted in God. Now neither of us are mystics or people who think following some ritual to the tea will get you answers or solve all of your problems; but we are both advocates for being vulnerable and relational. We both realized that if we truly wanted God to lead and guide our relationship we needed to be fully open with God. After this action of vulnerability and trust I received an email about a potential job I had been leaning towards and feeling very strongly about.

This act may or may not lead us to God's will. It's not magic or a formula. It was a reminder that we need to be open, vulnerable, and willing to do crazy things for God. We're ready to serve and work where God desires for us to be.

Communion.

Christ's blood shed for you.

This is what I found myself saying to hundreds of college students as they walked down the aisle, took the small piece of bread, and dipped it into the grape juice filled chalice in my hands. I said it a hundred or so times and yet each time the words rang in my ears. This small act had so much significance to it. I saw some dip their bread and then rush back to their seats as soon as possible, some slowly take their time taking everything in, some looking me in the eyes and thanking me--as if the act of holding this cup and saying these words was something I was giving to them. It was an incredibly humbling process to help serve communion at my school's Cooperation in Grace Chapel Service. It reminded me of my love for the sacrament of communion.

Growing up I went to your typical Evangelical church where we took communion once a quarter and all the kids got excited because they got to get out of junior church early to try new bread and dip it into grape juice (like all good Nazarenes, we did not use wine)--at least I knew I got excited. I had no idea that there were whole traditions that took this sacrament on a weekly basis until I got to college. Since then I have attended and observed many different types of churches--Mainline, Evangelical, Liturgical, and Contemporary. I have attended large church services where they spent loads of money to have rain fall on the Worship team as they played in the spot lights, and I have been to small churches where the most expensive thing they had was a PowerPoint Projector and slides. I have been to churches that practice communion monthly, quarterly, and weekly. It was honestly not until I began attending the church I regularly attend now that I began to really appreciate The Eucharist for what it is.

When I was beginning my Sophomore year of college I knew that I had to decide what church I would be attending, because I had a scholarship that required I work for a church. Having been disappointed and disconnected with the church I attended all of my Freshmen year I was in need of finding a "good fit" for myself. Following the advise of a good friend I decided to email a small, local, Nazarene church that met in a storefront and called themselves Shepherd's House. It seemed pretty non-threatening and I had heard only good things about it. My first Sunday visiting I immediately noticed that they had more of a liturgical feel to them than a typical Evangelical church. It was evident that the worship was more than just music; the congregation participated through having people throughout the crowd reading the Scripture readings, they used the lectionary, they all recited the Apostle's Creed and Lord's Prayer together, and took communion. I was very impressed and then to top it all off, everyone was incredibly friendly and invited me to stay for a meal afterwards. We ended with communion for more communion. I would later find out that was their way of welcoming back the college students, but that every Sunday evening they had home groups and would eat dinner together before discussing the morning's sermon. This is what kept me there. It was not phenomenal preaching, it was not the free coffee I could get before church started, and it was not even the amazing worship music. It was the loving community, the fact that it was intergenerational, and it was the act of taking communion every week.

I have learned throughout my life that there are very different understandings and interpretations for the Eucharist and I have found that I tend to fall under the belief that it is something we should do whenever we remember. When we remember the good news of the Resurrection, when we are thankful to God, and when we re-member back together as a group. This act of remembering has become a vital part of worship and whether or not I can explain how, I believe Jesus is present especially in the taking of communion and it is an amazing place for all who come to the Table to receive grace. This sacrament that so many people just view as a "part of worship we sometimes do" is a beautiful, constant reminder of the eschaton, of the time when Christ will return and make all things new inviting all to a feast where no one is hungry and everyone are companions. In her upcoming book Searching for Sunday, Rachel Held Evans puts it perfectly when says, "The church is God saying: 'I'm throwing a banquet, and all these mismatched, messed-up people are invited. Here, have some wine" (Held, pg. 153). No matter what our background is, we are all invited to the Table and should all celebrate it as often as we meet. We are all invited to cooperate with grace, to accept this grace that is given to us and then go and show it to others; but first we must accept it.

Which brings me back to the Cooperation in Grace service I was a part of. This particular chapel service consisted of worship through music, confessions, anointing, Scripture reading, hand washing (in replace of foot washing), and finally communion. It was an incredible service and a reminder of how much we need God's grace. It did, however, make me wonder how great this would be if we regularly practiced receiving and giving grace. If instead of having one chapel service where we do multiple forms of cooperating with grace, what if we always cooperated with grace each time we gathered together. I wonder how much more fulfilling and grace-filled our lives would be if we made it a normal act to have communion through meals together with those we know, don't know, and even those we don't agree with. What would it look like to practice thanksgiving and grace in our lives today? 

Sometimes we're called to Stay.

Hey, do you want to cancel our trip to KC? It was going to be a one day trip anyways and for ten hours that is hardly worth it.  These are the words that I texted to a travel companion at the beginning of this January Term break. Not even a year ago I would have been shocked to hear that my future self would turn down a chance to visit this exciting city, but I simply felt that the trip was not worth it. I had previously planned this excursion to be a Wednesday-Saturday trip, but I then got offered a job interview in the area that would delay us from leaving. Due to this interview--which is very important to me and will affect my post-grad plans--we would only really be in Kansas City for one day which gave me a weird gut feeling. I just did not feel right about going on the trip and so through much inner dialogue I decided to cancel the trip and invest my weekend in this local area.

This area that two years ago I felt I should invest in more. That my summer in New Orleans taught me I should invest in. This area that I am applying for jobs in, which is not something that I ever expected I would do when I enrolled in college. Sometimes we are led to very surprising places. Sometimes God places desires on our hearts that had it been a year before we would completely miss out on. Recently I have been feeling more and more of a pull towards living in this area and doing ministry here. This is weird because I was one who always wanted to travel the world and see new places--which I still do--and yet I am not being drawn to move anywhere at this present time.

Last weekend my fiance and I decided to go on a drive without picking a destination. We drove into the dark night not knowing where we would end up and after half an hour we ended up going back to her apartment. Sometimes in life that is what happens: we dive into the unknown future and end up where we already were. Sometimes we need to realize there is a need where we are and not everyone needs to pick up and leave to some far off foreign place. Sometimes missionaries are called to both leave and stay depending on what stage they are in life. Right now I feel as if I should stop leaving and stay for a bit. We'll see where that leads us.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. 

My date with the Episcopal church

Have you ever met someone who you knew you had to get to know and date? The more you got to know them the more you knew that you had to be more than friends with this special person who just happened to come into your life. Slowly as time wore on you began developing many expectations for this person and what your dating life would be and by the time that you had your first date planned you had already picked out the name of your first born child with this person. Then that fateful day happens when you go on this long-awaited date and...it blows. Nothing met your expectations and you realized that you had fallen in love with the idea of this person, but not the actual living, breathing, person. Has this ever happened to you?

It happened to me, not with a person, but rather a church; the Episcopal church to be exact. 

My tale begins my sophomore year at the University when I first began to hear about the Episcopal church and their theology. The more I learned the more I found myself agreeing with and the more I wanted to learn. I began researching their theology and even attending one of their prayer walks for Good Friday during my junior year in college. I had yet to actually attend one of their Sunday morning services, but I was increasingly impressed with their theology and how missional they tended to be. I then discovered that they help start and fund the local homeless shelter which made me respect them even more. Around this time I had been introduced to other High Church settings through the Lutherans and Catholics and fell in love with liturgy. Eventually I felt it would be time to finally check out an Episcopal service.

I anxiously walked towards the door next to my lovely fiance. She smiled at me handing me a piece of gum with a joke of, 'this is for if she--the church--kisses you.' This was how I knew that she approved of this first date with this lovely church. As I sat in and participated with the community in the service I started to feel as if I was cheating on my home church that I attend when I am at school. Over time I realized that I was greatly enjoying the liturgy and the message, but something did not feel right. The service was great, but I did not feel like I was at home. I realized I had fallen in love with the theology of the Episcopal church, but I missed the excitement and lively music from my own evangelical church. I enjoyed myself, but my expectations were not completely made and I realized that this type of service did not draw me in and was more of an occasional when I need a break from routine type of service. I realized that I was drawn to more of an evangelical feel and that it was okay for me to be. I do not have to follow the trend of millennials and just leave a church that does not seem to have everything figured out, because there is no such thing as a perfect church. 

So attending the Episcopal church was a good and growing experience for me; it was one that I needed. It showed me how much I value the church I currently attend and it showed me that just because I love a churches theology does not mean that I need to attend that denomination or would like all of their polity or the way they do their services. This is what I needed for my growth in Faith.

Lord, I pray for unity among all denominations that we would be able to learn from each other and share what we have with one another. Let us all live in love.

That was the tale of my date with the Episcopal church. I look forward to serving alongside the Episcopal church as my years in ministry continue. 

Here's to finishing another journal!

As another year comes to a close I have finished yet another one of my many journals. I have written about my experiences, taken notes from lectures, prayed long drawn out prayers, and have often asked the question "why" this year. There have been so many places that I have journeyed to and a diverse amount of new experiences in this year of 2014. 

I began my year with a trip to Indianapolis, Kansas City, and Chicago. On this trip we explored many diverse cultures and ministries in both Christian and other religious contexts. We visited the Temple of the Reformed Church of the Ladder Day Saint, a Hindu Temple, the church Jacob's Well, a Hindu worship service we were invited to by a group we ran into at the Plaza, and many more places. I learned a lot about each culture we studied and examined how to best spread the gospel with each culture we analyzed. 

If this trip did not satisfy my wanderlust then the one in March certainly did at least for awhile. I journeyed with a small team to Cascade Pichon, Haiti to help build a school. Here I fell even more in love with development and working with other cultures. I got to see the beauty of all ages working together to build this place of learning and of a people working together to do their best with what they have. I learned about "dégagé" and creative lifestyles: it makes one want to strive to live simpler. In preparation for this trip I gave up social media in an effort to live more simply during the Lenten season and this mindset only continued after this trip. Haiti was life changing and was a trip my life had been building up to through my experience in Belize and then with my involvement in collecting shoes for Haiti for the past two years. This trip affirmed my love for cross cultural missions. 

After an amazing trip, much to my lovely girlfriends dismay, I ventured to Birmingham, Alabama and then New Orleans, Louisianna for an exciting and busy summer working for youthworks. This trip affirmed my calling into youth ministry and helped me gain experience working with nonprofits. During the summer I really began to value community and see the importance of longevity and intentionality. I grew incredibly close to my team this year which showed me how invested into people's lives I can get in such a short time period. I had experienced this last summer, but my team in NOLA really showed me what a team family can be like. 

Finally after 3 full months I returned to Ohio to see my lovely girlfriend and spend a few days volunteering at the camp that she works at. It was a nice transition from not seeing her and working 17 hour days. Returning to college and my dearest love, I had decided to focus on investing in the local community and giving back where I could. In order to do this I became a Student Mentor and Academic Peer Mentor at my university in order to invest into the lives of freshmen and those in my living area. If this did not keep me busy enough I decided to take on another job while striving to be actively involved with my local church--a small group of roughly 39-40 people who meet in a storefront. I became an Ambassador for YouthWorks which successfully fulfills my love of recruiting and allows me to stay connected with this organization which I have grown to love. Throughout my busy schedule I began learning a few French words when I would work in the cafeteria because my coworker is a native of Montreal and her first language was French.

In the midst of my busy schedule I was diving into my theology courses discussing Christian Holiness and Open theism. Through my theology course I realized that I believe in a cross between open theism and process theism. I was able to express my thoughts on open theism and God's foreknowledge through a paper that shares my belief that God fully knows the past, present, and is journeying into the many known and unknown possibilities of the future because God's very nature is love. This topic was one I had been thinking about all year. 2014 was a year of questioning and wrestling with God's nature and my own calling.

In the midst of all these findings I made one of the highest decisions of my life. I spontaneously proposed to my lovely girlfriend after the end of a fun weekend trip to Lexington, Kentucky. The rest of my year has been spent planning a wedding, reading theology, reading the life changing book "The Sparrow", learning to crotchet, traveling to both sets of families, and slowly becoming coffee experts with both automated and manual coffee makers. 

As this year has come to an end it is easy to reflect on the good and bad parts of this crazy and adventurous year. I have learned many new skills, have gained new ideas and I have learned more what it means to love others. This morning I received a huge affirmation that my calling is for Youth ministry when I student from Youth Works contacted me on facebook and asked me for advice on how to get HIS youth group on a missions trip. It was exactly what I needed to end this year on a good note. I have also started making hats and now one pair of mittens so I would say it's gonna be a good year. 

So here's to 2015! Here's to graduation, to getting married, to moving to a new town, to starting a new post-grad job, learning to make new clothes, and living a life of simplicity with my almost wife. Here's to a new year of adventures and love! Let us all love!

Hope in the midst of darkness

Tonight I decided to join friends to view the Premier showing of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay part 1 and I was incredibly impressed with its accuracy to the book and its excellent portrayal of the terrors of violence and war. This particular book in the trilogy was always my favorite and I would easily say that this movie adaptation exceeded expectations. There are two particular scenes that really stood out to me in this movie and these scenes are not what people would expect because they were short interruptions into the overall theme. [SPOILER] The first scene took place in the middle of the movie when Gale tells Katniss that they were given permission to go above ground in District 13 to go hunting. In this scene they are preparing to shoot an animal and then notice that the creature had seen them and is not moving for it does not appear scared. Katniss points out that this animal is not scared of them because it had never been hunted before. They then decided not to kill the animal and walked down by the river to sit there feeling the wind on their skin and hearing the water flow below them. This scene was so simple and yet it showed humanity and goodness in the midst of the terrible war going on all around them. While everywhere was chaotic and seemed to have no silver lining, they were able to still value the innocence of this animal and take a few minutes to experience the beauty of nature. The other scene was when they were all taking shelter on the 40th floor of District 13 and Katniss was using a flashlight to play with Prim's cat while everyone watched and laughed. This scene resulted in a revelation for Katniss, but that is not what made me enjoy it. This scene showed once again that in the midst of trials, violence, and destruction the protagonists were able to find joy in a little game. They were able to bring about a few moments of goodness.

So often in our life we get so caught up in the injustices in this world. We see all those people who have been marginalized. We feel the pain that many have felt and gone through. It can be so easy to get caught up in the chaos of life that we miss out on the little events in life. We can miss the good and develop feelings of hopelessness, when in reality there is goodness and hope all around us we just have to find it. This brings to mind something I witnessed at church during the past two weeks. We have recently gained a few younger members to our small congregation of 40 and we have the blessing of worshiping alongside these children. For the past two weeks there was been a toddler who has walked into the middle of the aisle and started dancing to the music. This little boy has no embarrassments or inhibitions, but was simply celebrating through dance. This is something we often neglect because we get caught up in tradition and even the distractions of life, but this little boy brought that into perspective for us. This little boy reminded me of the good news of the gospel. This boy reminded me that is really is GOOD NEWS. This little boy brought goodness into our little church and brought smiles to all in this busy, chaotic world.

But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs" (Matt. 19.14. NRSV).

Awakenings

This evening I watched the incredible Robin Williams movie, Awakenings. I had gone into this movie with good expectations of how it would be but, there was no way I could have predicted how much I loved it. Just when I believe that I have seen the best Robin William's movie I see another one that tops that.

The movie tells the true story of the neurologist Dr. Sayer who gets hired at a local hospital in the Bronx and ended up working with catatonic patients.Over time, through analyzing the patients, he discovers that they will respond to certain stimuli that relate to their reflexes. Through research he discovers that the L-Dopa drug allows the patients to be "awakened" and bring them back to reality. This appears to be an incredible break through for the hospital. Once the patients are awaken they all begin sharing what they like, don't like, what they want, and things they like to do. At one point the De Niro's character, Leonard, expressed that he wanted to be able to go on a walk, to get to know people, to do things that regular human beings take for granted. Leonard talks about how he was locked up for many years in his mind and could not do anything and now he wants to just live life.

So often in life we need reminders like this one from Leonard. We can so easily take for granted the little things in life like taking a walk. We can take for granted the loved ones who are all around us. We can take for granted the simplest touch of a fellow human being. As I reflect on my evening I realize how often I take for granted the times that I spend going on walks with my girlfriend. We do not always go on walks but, when we do I do not realize how lucky we are to be able to walk around and enjoy this simple freedom. To be able to take in every smell, to see all the forms around us, and to feel the air and the ground and everything around us. To not be trapped in our brains but, to be able to explore the world.

[SPOILER]

At the end of the movie the drug begins to wear off and they soon realize that the effects were not permanent. Over time the residents returned to their dormant state but, this time things were different. This time the doctors and nurses realized that these people were still living; they realized that they had thinking minds that knew they were there. This is shown very beautifully at the end when you see the nurses and visitors treating the non-responsive residents as if they were still acting. They were treating them as humans and showing them dignity by putting make-up on some, leading some to the window so they could see out of it, and talking to some of them.

As followers of the Way, we need to be about waking people up and reminding them of the beauty of life all around them. We need to value and appreciate each others humanity. We need to show our neighbor that we see value in them and love them. We need to awaken one another up to our true potential; our true humanity.

 “Sleeper, awake! Rise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” 

(Eph. 5.14. New Living Translation).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAz-prw_W2A 

Jonah and Redemption

When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil ways, God changed his mind about the calamity that he had said he would bring upon them; and he did not do it.
 But this was very displeasing to Jonah, and he became angry. 2 He prayed to the Lord and said, “O Lord! Is not this what I said while I was still in my own country? That is why I fled to Tarshish at the beginning; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and ready to relent from punishing. 3 And now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” 4 And the Lord said, “Is it right for you to be angry?” 5 Then Jonah went out of the city and sat down east of the city, and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, waiting to see what would become of the city.
6 The Lord God appointed a bush,[a] and made it come up over Jonah, to give shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort; so Jonah was very happy about the bush. 7 But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the bush, so that it withered. 8 When the sun rose, God prepared a sultry east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint and asked that he might die. He said, “It is better for me to die than to live.”
9 But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the bush?” And he said, “Yes, angry enough to die.” 10 Then the Lord said, “You are concerned about the bush, for which you did not labor and which you did not grow; it came into being in a night and perished in a night. 11 And should I not be concerned about Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also many animals?”-Jonah 3:10-4:11

When I heard this passage read as the Old Testament Lectionary reading on Sunday I could not help but be reminded of high school. Since the my early high school years I had a passion of letting people know how Jonah actually ended. I got so tired of seeing the flannel graph adaptations where kids assume that Jonah changed his ways after he preached to Ninevah. People often neglect the fact that he was bitter, had prejudices, and wanted God to destroy this city of the Assyrians. How often do we, as Christians, act just like Jonah here?

How often do we preach that God is loving and wants to forgive us if we are repentant but, then assume that God will obliterate anyone who thinks differently than we do? We look at horrible situations like ISIS and demand retribution but, as the Pastor at church so greatly pointed out, modern day Ninevah would be like ISIS. Yes, what they are doing is some of the most horrendous and dehumanizing things but, we have to wonder how God views them and if they are in the scope of God's redeeming love and forgiveness. It can be easy to think of our enemies, of that person right down the street that just gets under your skin, and say we'll "pray for them" while secretly hoping that they "get what they deserve" for the way they treat us. Instead maybe we should walk over, share the good news of redemption, and get to know their story. When we pray for our enemies let's actually mean it and hope for God's redemption to come into their lives.

Why do we do ministry? Why do we preach the "good news" and why should we even live out the "good news"? Is it to fulfill an obligation? Is it because we're told we have to? Or is it because it's actually good news? Is it that God actually does have mercy and chooses to love all of us? Is sharing the good news a response to the grace we have been given?

Let's stop whining about why we cannot have instant gratification or why sometimes we are uncomfortable. Let's stop assuming that God won't do what God says God will do! If God says that He is merciful and will free us then that is what God will do! Let's get up and share this good news with the assurance that God is one who forgives. God provides new life. And God can redeem even the worst of foes.